as follow-up to my previous post - it's amazing how good it feels to vent and even better to hear that others can feel the same way. thank you to all who commented - it was great to hear from you.
as for today's post - i was going to fulfill grandma's wish and post pictures, but unfortunately our computer gave up the ghost over the weekend. i haven't had time to transfer pictures over to the new computer yet - so grandma's post will have to wait a few more days.
in the meantime i thought i'd share a conversation i had with noah the other night... or more appropriately - he had with me.
a few nights ago aaron and i got into an "energized" conversation. we usually try to keep these kinds of conversations for when the kids are in bed, but there are a few occasions when we don't quite hit that goal. this night we were getting ready to run some errands. i got snippy and said a few things. aaron said a few things. not able to let it go - even with noah standing next to us - i said a few more things and then aaron crossed the line. (maybe in my emotional state, my line was a little too easily crossed, but none the less - crossed is crossed.) so in my mature nature i informed him he would not be coming with us and i grabbed the kids and headed to the car.
about 3 minutes later this conversation ensues:
noah: uh hum. mom.
me: what noah.
noah: i really don't think you should yell at dad. that's not what Jesus would do.
me: (completely not in the mood to have my 6-year-old point out things i already know) i know, i shouldn't have yelled. (just to press my immaturity level) but he yelled at me first.
noah: (sighs, as though he's talking to a 4-year-old) mom. just because someone yells at you doesn't mean you should yell at them. if someone says something that makes you upset you should just tell him that what he said made you feel sad and to please not talk that way. yelling will never solve your problems.
me: (trying not to laugh as noah is almost verbatim telling me what i've told him so many times) you're right noah. i shouldn't have gotten angry. (and to keep up with this odd role reversal) but, what about dad? he shouldn't have gotten mad either.
noah: no, he shouldn't have and i'll talk to him when we get home. you just need to remember that it's never good to fight with people. it will never make you feel happy inside. i want you to think about this and how you could have handled things better.
not trusting myself to talk without laughing, it's now quiet for a few minutes until...
noah: mom?
me: yes, noah.
noah: i have a really good feeling inside from helping you. i think the Holy Ghost is telling me i did a good job in helping you and dad tonight. *sigh*.
honestly - where did this child come from? too funny. And, true to form, as soon as we got home - noah went and found aaron for his 'talk'. aaron came out a few minutes later shaking his head trying not to laugh.
i may have moments where being a mom feels overwhelming, but i wouldn't trade times like this for anything.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
a day off
Have you ever felt like just saying “I’m done”? I don’t want to cook, clean, wipe, wash, explain, be patient or smile when I don’t feel like smiling. I am not a jungle gym or a pillow to be pushed and pulled until you’re comfortable. I am neither Martha Stewart nor Mother Teresa. There are some days when I want to say, “if I hear the words ‘why’ or ‘but’ one more time, I will lose what is left of my sanity.
Have you ever felt like you were not made to be this naturally charming, patient wife and mother? I remember living in Virginia and going to a friends house to pick something up. It was just before 5:00 and I walked in to see her in an apron, dinner on the stove, the dining room table completely set, and the children playing happily. I looked suspiciously around for some kind of external influence that was helping her – a little somethin’, somethin’ of this or that… maybe even a little NyQuil on the table dished out to the little ones. But no, there was nothing. She was really just that good at being a mom. And then she had her 4th and I thought for sure this would do her in, but to my selfish disappointment she was, yet again, ready and able for the challenge. She hosted a 4th of July party 2 weeks after she got home from the hospital!
I say 'selfish disappointment', because while the greater part of me was in awe with admiration and wonder, the small - totally immature - side of me wished to see someone else feel as inadequate as I do. I often think that when my children grow up to be amazing people, it will have had nothing to do with me. Honestly – my daughter is 15 months old and she has no idea how to use any kind of silverware yet. I first have to trust her to keep the food on her tray before I put a would-be weapon in her hands. And instead of just glowing at the fact that my son is so bright and inquisitive about every single thing that comes into his head – I find myself wishing that for just 30 seconds he would close that precious little mouth and learn to enjoy silence as much as I do. Or, when my daughter will not stop screaming in her very dramatic, poor-me, life-is-so-hard-when-someone-isn’t-stacking-blocks-for-me temper tantrum - I will do anything to stop the crying. If that means she gets an otter pop at 10:00 am – so be it.
The ‘good’ mom would sit with her son and answer any question his little mind can come up with and then go through the encyclopedia’s, A-Z, just in case he missed a topic. The ‘good’ mom would sit with her daughter and forget about her book or her project on the computer and would stack blocks for as long as was needed and then willingly move on to any other toy that captured the girl’s attention. And most of all, the ‘good’ mom and wife would fix healthy meals for when the husband gets home instead of ordering pizza, looking for anything frozen from Costco or pulling out the cereal and milk.
It’s funny how as a little girl I imagined being this amazing wife and a mother with patience to spare, and yet so often I’m finding myself just surviving one day at a time. Maybe the generation before me was really made up of these perfect women who excelled in their role as wife and mother. Or maybe, just maybe – as the selfish part of me wants to think – they struggled too, just never out loud. Who knows.
I guess today’s post is for those of you who find times where you just want a break. Some time away. A moment of peace and quiet - maybe even a chance to eat a meal while it’s still hot.
For those of you like me – I wish you luck in finding that much needed day off.
For those of you who have it all put together - may all your children get measles at once.
Have you ever felt like you were not made to be this naturally charming, patient wife and mother? I remember living in Virginia and going to a friends house to pick something up. It was just before 5:00 and I walked in to see her in an apron, dinner on the stove, the dining room table completely set, and the children playing happily. I looked suspiciously around for some kind of external influence that was helping her – a little somethin’, somethin’ of this or that… maybe even a little NyQuil on the table dished out to the little ones. But no, there was nothing. She was really just that good at being a mom. And then she had her 4th and I thought for sure this would do her in, but to my selfish disappointment she was, yet again, ready and able for the challenge. She hosted a 4th of July party 2 weeks after she got home from the hospital!
I say 'selfish disappointment', because while the greater part of me was in awe with admiration and wonder, the small - totally immature - side of me wished to see someone else feel as inadequate as I do. I often think that when my children grow up to be amazing people, it will have had nothing to do with me. Honestly – my daughter is 15 months old and she has no idea how to use any kind of silverware yet. I first have to trust her to keep the food on her tray before I put a would-be weapon in her hands. And instead of just glowing at the fact that my son is so bright and inquisitive about every single thing that comes into his head – I find myself wishing that for just 30 seconds he would close that precious little mouth and learn to enjoy silence as much as I do. Or, when my daughter will not stop screaming in her very dramatic, poor-me, life-is-so-hard-when-someone-isn’t-stacking-blocks-for-me temper tantrum - I will do anything to stop the crying. If that means she gets an otter pop at 10:00 am – so be it.
The ‘good’ mom would sit with her son and answer any question his little mind can come up with and then go through the encyclopedia’s, A-Z, just in case he missed a topic. The ‘good’ mom would sit with her daughter and forget about her book or her project on the computer and would stack blocks for as long as was needed and then willingly move on to any other toy that captured the girl’s attention. And most of all, the ‘good’ mom and wife would fix healthy meals for when the husband gets home instead of ordering pizza, looking for anything frozen from Costco or pulling out the cereal and milk.
It’s funny how as a little girl I imagined being this amazing wife and a mother with patience to spare, and yet so often I’m finding myself just surviving one day at a time. Maybe the generation before me was really made up of these perfect women who excelled in their role as wife and mother. Or maybe, just maybe – as the selfish part of me wants to think – they struggled too, just never out loud. Who knows.
I guess today’s post is for those of you who find times where you just want a break. Some time away. A moment of peace and quiet - maybe even a chance to eat a meal while it’s still hot.
For those of you like me – I wish you luck in finding that much needed day off.
For those of you who have it all put together - may all your children get measles at once.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
so easily entertained
i really do love this age.
reagan played with this basket for about 45 minutes. it was so funny watching how entertained she was. if only we could all be so happy with the little things.
reagan played with this basket for about 45 minutes. it was so funny watching how entertained she was. if only we could all be so happy with the little things.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
*&@%# you resolutions
i have done a lot of dumb things in my life, but this one definitely takes the cake... no pun intended.
my new years resolution was to go this year without any kind of sweets/desserts/food for the soul (chocolate, of course), etc., etc. my hope was to lose at least some of the baby weight from Reagan *cough* and noah *cough*. i had come to the conclusion that even though i go to the gym 4-5 days a week, the brownies for breakfast and any other sweets i could find all day long were possibly hindering my efforts. so, i took the plunge and quit cold turkey. (thankfully, aaron decided to do this with me - i could never have done it alone this long)
as i'm now approaching my 6th week of no sweets i have found it's getting harder, not easier. life without desserts sucks. instead of sweets i'm trying to eat healthy, but it's just not the same wallowing with a bowl of steamed carrots without butter. really, without butter? what's the point. then they just taste like mushy carrots. if i have to eat healthy veggies, at least let me slather them with butter and salt. curse you fat grams!!! when it comes down to it - there is simply no satisfaction in emotionally eating when it won't stick to my thighs.
that being said, i decided to write a little poem about my 'no sweets' journey...
ODE TO DESSERTS
in sad times or good times you were always there.
you gave all you could, so willing to share.
each calorie you gave, hit just the right spot -
and gave me comfort - where carrots could not.
each treat was unique in it's own special way.
whether chocolate chips from the fridge or something gourmet.
especially at times when i was an emotional mess,
i could always count on sweets to help with the stress.
but here is were my tale turns quite tragic.
i discovered my metabolism did not work like magic.
brownies, cookies, ice cream, cakes and pies,
while gave me happiness, went straight to my thighs.
was it worth that extra brownie or two (or four)
if i would have to turn sideways to get through the door?
cause this was the path my life was on
as i realized my waistline was definitely gone.
in desperation i set a date,
when no more sweets i would take.
it's been sad and hard, but i've held my grounds,
and as a result i've lost 12 pounds.
just so you know, to be perfectly clear -
my resolution is only this year.
i may loose more weight, healthy food may have won
but come january 1st, i'll enjoy undoing all i have done.
my new years resolution was to go this year without any kind of sweets/desserts/food for the soul (chocolate, of course), etc., etc. my hope was to lose at least some of the baby weight from Reagan *cough* and noah *cough*. i had come to the conclusion that even though i go to the gym 4-5 days a week, the brownies for breakfast and any other sweets i could find all day long were possibly hindering my efforts. so, i took the plunge and quit cold turkey. (thankfully, aaron decided to do this with me - i could never have done it alone this long)
as i'm now approaching my 6th week of no sweets i have found it's getting harder, not easier. life without desserts sucks. instead of sweets i'm trying to eat healthy, but it's just not the same wallowing with a bowl of steamed carrots without butter. really, without butter? what's the point. then they just taste like mushy carrots. if i have to eat healthy veggies, at least let me slather them with butter and salt. curse you fat grams!!! when it comes down to it - there is simply no satisfaction in emotionally eating when it won't stick to my thighs.
that being said, i decided to write a little poem about my 'no sweets' journey...
ODE TO DESSERTS
in sad times or good times you were always there.
you gave all you could, so willing to share.
each calorie you gave, hit just the right spot -
and gave me comfort - where carrots could not.
each treat was unique in it's own special way.
whether chocolate chips from the fridge or something gourmet.
especially at times when i was an emotional mess,
i could always count on sweets to help with the stress.
but here is were my tale turns quite tragic.
i discovered my metabolism did not work like magic.
brownies, cookies, ice cream, cakes and pies,
while gave me happiness, went straight to my thighs.
was it worth that extra brownie or two (or four)
if i would have to turn sideways to get through the door?
cause this was the path my life was on
as i realized my waistline was definitely gone.
in desperation i set a date,
when no more sweets i would take.
it's been sad and hard, but i've held my grounds,
and as a result i've lost 12 pounds.
just so you know, to be perfectly clear -
my resolution is only this year.
i may loose more weight, healthy food may have won
but come january 1st, i'll enjoy undoing all i have done.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
well that was weird
i had an odd morning a few weeks ago and since then have had a few people ask me if i was going to post it on my blog or not. i debated writing about it because there's so much of it i don't remember - but in the end, i figured i'd tell you what i could and link you to the rest of the story.
It was Inauguration morning. I'm sitting on my couch and i start to not feel very well. i don't know how to describe it, kind of like feeling that something just wasn't right. my head felt really fuzzy, my heart was pounding and i just felt funny inside. it was alarming enough that i had the thought to call aaron and tell him that something was wrong. At this point i looked around the room and realized Noah wasn't there with me. I started calling for him and running around the house looking for him. As i realized he wasn't in the house i started to panic. i tried to think of where he could be or what we had been doing but my mind was... blank. i called aaron in a panic and told him i couldn't find noah. he asked if he was at my friends house (we'll call her "Megan") because i had told him earlier i would be over there. not giving it a second thought, i grabbed reagan and drove over to megans'. (i should note that she lives 4 houses away - but in an emergency, a car seemed faster then walking with a one-year old.)
By now I'm crying and am in a total panic as i knock on Megan's door.
bits of this part are blurry, but i believe the conversation went something like this:
Me: Is Noah here?
Megan: (with a confused look) yes. you just left him here a few minutes ago.
Me: (more confused then Megan and much more scared) what? i just left him here? i was here?
Megan: Brenda, you left here about 15 minutes ago. you spent the morning here.
Me: What?
Megan: I think you should come and sit down.
Apparently, i had spent the past few hours of that morning with Megan and her girls and had left to change Reagans diaper. I left Noah there to play. But, I have no memory of that morning. i have no memory of being at Megan's house or talking with her girls. the morning was completely gone from my memory. at some point i do remember my father-in-law showing up to take the kids and shortly after Aaron came. I vaguely remember sitting by Megan on her couch (she claims there was some petting of her hair going on... i guess i should be grateful it stopped there)
the last memory i have at her house is standing by the door while aaron is saying something about an insta-care. while he's talking her oldest daughter walks in the room and i remember hugging her and telling her how good it was to see her. at this point aaron says he's going to take me to the hospital - evidently she had been in the room a few minutes before and i had been hugging her and telling her the same thing then.
so, from here, my memory is much more stable. we get to the hospital and they take me right in. by far the most embarrassing moment (if you don't count the petting with Megan, but i don't remember that so it doesn't really count) is sitting on the bed trying to convince the nurse i wasn't on drugs.
nurse: what pills have you taken this morning?
me: i don't know, i don't remember. but if it was anything it would be my bc and an ibuprofen.
nurse: ok... is there ANYTHING else you could have taken?
me: No.
nurse: look, we're not going to tell the police, but we need to know so we can do our jobs.
me: seriously, i'm not on drugs. i really didn't take anything.
nurse looks me up and down with a doubtful look
aaron: (seeing the nurse look at me) she went to the gym this morning.
at this point i look down and see my gym clothes next to aaron (i was in a lovely hospital gown) and realize what i must look like. my exposed legs had not been shaved for about 2 weeks (totally gross, i know, but it's winter - come on), i had yesterdays make-up smeared on my eyes and my hair was plastered to my head in all sorts of unflattering ways (i'd been wearing a hat all morning, but evidently they made me take it off).
me: i know i look bad, but really, i don't do drugs
aaron: besides, we can't afford 'em.
by now the neurologist has come in and after hearing me tell what happened says he's 99% sure i had what is called Global Transient Amnesia.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/transient-global-amnesia/DS01022
this is where the person looses about 6 hours of their memory. one minute they're fine and the next they have no memory of what they've been doing. there are many symptoms to it - one being a "powerful expression of emotion" (which would explain the hugging and petting of Megan)
after the MRI came back clean (no stroke) the doctor officially diagnosed me with GTA and said i'd be fine. apparently, it's a very rare occurrence and never happens twice.
the doctor said it can happen from a hit to the head, a major trauma or it does come in the form of a migraine. he suspects because i'd been having a lot of headaches as of late that the latter reason was most likely.
i think, due to the timing, it was because of a major trauma. democrats officially taking over - very traumatic indeed...
even though some of my closest friends are democrat.
i even like Obama
My friend, Megan, has posted the experience on her blog for those of you who'd like to hear more of the details from that morning.... from her point of view. (no matter what she says about the whole "petting" incident - i think she liked it) http://3greenwoodgirls.blogspot.com/2009/02/well-that-was-weird.html
It was Inauguration morning. I'm sitting on my couch and i start to not feel very well. i don't know how to describe it, kind of like feeling that something just wasn't right. my head felt really fuzzy, my heart was pounding and i just felt funny inside. it was alarming enough that i had the thought to call aaron and tell him that something was wrong. At this point i looked around the room and realized Noah wasn't there with me. I started calling for him and running around the house looking for him. As i realized he wasn't in the house i started to panic. i tried to think of where he could be or what we had been doing but my mind was... blank. i called aaron in a panic and told him i couldn't find noah. he asked if he was at my friends house (we'll call her "Megan") because i had told him earlier i would be over there. not giving it a second thought, i grabbed reagan and drove over to megans'. (i should note that she lives 4 houses away - but in an emergency, a car seemed faster then walking with a one-year old.)
By now I'm crying and am in a total panic as i knock on Megan's door.
bits of this part are blurry, but i believe the conversation went something like this:
Me: Is Noah here?
Megan: (with a confused look) yes. you just left him here a few minutes ago.
Me: (more confused then Megan and much more scared) what? i just left him here? i was here?
Megan: Brenda, you left here about 15 minutes ago. you spent the morning here.
Me: What?
Megan: I think you should come and sit down.
Apparently, i had spent the past few hours of that morning with Megan and her girls and had left to change Reagans diaper. I left Noah there to play. But, I have no memory of that morning. i have no memory of being at Megan's house or talking with her girls. the morning was completely gone from my memory. at some point i do remember my father-in-law showing up to take the kids and shortly after Aaron came. I vaguely remember sitting by Megan on her couch (she claims there was some petting of her hair going on... i guess i should be grateful it stopped there)
the last memory i have at her house is standing by the door while aaron is saying something about an insta-care. while he's talking her oldest daughter walks in the room and i remember hugging her and telling her how good it was to see her. at this point aaron says he's going to take me to the hospital - evidently she had been in the room a few minutes before and i had been hugging her and telling her the same thing then.
so, from here, my memory is much more stable. we get to the hospital and they take me right in. by far the most embarrassing moment (if you don't count the petting with Megan, but i don't remember that so it doesn't really count) is sitting on the bed trying to convince the nurse i wasn't on drugs.
nurse: what pills have you taken this morning?
me: i don't know, i don't remember. but if it was anything it would be my bc and an ibuprofen.
nurse: ok... is there ANYTHING else you could have taken?
me: No.
nurse: look, we're not going to tell the police, but we need to know so we can do our jobs.
me: seriously, i'm not on drugs. i really didn't take anything.
nurse looks me up and down with a doubtful look
aaron: (seeing the nurse look at me) she went to the gym this morning.
at this point i look down and see my gym clothes next to aaron (i was in a lovely hospital gown) and realize what i must look like. my exposed legs had not been shaved for about 2 weeks (totally gross, i know, but it's winter - come on), i had yesterdays make-up smeared on my eyes and my hair was plastered to my head in all sorts of unflattering ways (i'd been wearing a hat all morning, but evidently they made me take it off).
me: i know i look bad, but really, i don't do drugs
aaron: besides, we can't afford 'em.
by now the neurologist has come in and after hearing me tell what happened says he's 99% sure i had what is called Global Transient Amnesia.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/transient-global-amnesia/DS01022
this is where the person looses about 6 hours of their memory. one minute they're fine and the next they have no memory of what they've been doing. there are many symptoms to it - one being a "powerful expression of emotion" (which would explain the hugging and petting of Megan)
after the MRI came back clean (no stroke) the doctor officially diagnosed me with GTA and said i'd be fine. apparently, it's a very rare occurrence and never happens twice.
the doctor said it can happen from a hit to the head, a major trauma or it does come in the form of a migraine. he suspects because i'd been having a lot of headaches as of late that the latter reason was most likely.
i think, due to the timing, it was because of a major trauma. democrats officially taking over - very traumatic indeed...
even though some of my closest friends are democrat.
i even like Obama
My friend, Megan, has posted the experience on her blog for those of you who'd like to hear more of the details from that morning.... from her point of view. (no matter what she says about the whole "petting" incident - i think she liked it) http://3greenwoodgirls.blogspot.com/2009/02/well-that-was-weird.html
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
perfectly good reasons
i know it seems crazy, but i have good reasons.
being the neurotic mother that i am, which is something i've never denied, i felt it was necessary to get noah his own cell phone.
(pausing while most of you roll your eyes and the rest of you verbally mock me. go ahead, get it all out of your system)
ok then, when noah started 1st grade we let him walk home with some of his friends. it's just under 1/2 a mile and in a safe neighborhood. for me to follow him home from a distance would not have gone over well with these very independent children. but the crazy thoughts that ran through my head while he was walking home were bordering obnoxious - even for me. too often they would be 5-10 minutes late getting home, for various reasons: stopping to tie shoes and becoming distracted with a line of ants, arguing about who's in charge of the group and being unable to walk and argue at the same time - or simply sitting down half-way home to take a break. whatever the reason - i decided i couldn't handle wondering what was going on when they were running behind.
so, i convinced aaron the best solution was to get noah a glorified walkie-talkie... aka: a cell phone. to my credit - i did look into the kind that just has four programmable buttons, but it was cheaper to just add a line to our cell phone plan. to say the least, noah loved the idea of having his own phone. shockingly - it went straight to his head. i pulled up one day after school to find Emma (his carpool buddy) holding his backpack for him. i asked him what was going on and his response was "i have a cell phone now and i need to have my hands free to answer it".
yeah - that didn't go over well. thankfully, noah now understands two important things - 1. he does not have girls carry his back pack. 2. the phone does not come out of the back pack unless there's an emergency. sad noah. grateful emma.
as for reagan getting a cell phone when she turns 6... definitely. along with some mace, a panic button of some sorts and maybe even a taser gun for good measure. aaron has already ordered his night vision goggles for when she starts to date.
being the neurotic mother that i am, which is something i've never denied, i felt it was necessary to get noah his own cell phone.
(pausing while most of you roll your eyes and the rest of you verbally mock me. go ahead, get it all out of your system)
ok then, when noah started 1st grade we let him walk home with some of his friends. it's just under 1/2 a mile and in a safe neighborhood. for me to follow him home from a distance would not have gone over well with these very independent children. but the crazy thoughts that ran through my head while he was walking home were bordering obnoxious - even for me. too often they would be 5-10 minutes late getting home, for various reasons: stopping to tie shoes and becoming distracted with a line of ants, arguing about who's in charge of the group and being unable to walk and argue at the same time - or simply sitting down half-way home to take a break. whatever the reason - i decided i couldn't handle wondering what was going on when they were running behind.
so, i convinced aaron the best solution was to get noah a glorified walkie-talkie... aka: a cell phone. to my credit - i did look into the kind that just has four programmable buttons, but it was cheaper to just add a line to our cell phone plan. to say the least, noah loved the idea of having his own phone. shockingly - it went straight to his head. i pulled up one day after school to find Emma (his carpool buddy) holding his backpack for him. i asked him what was going on and his response was "i have a cell phone now and i need to have my hands free to answer it".
yeah - that didn't go over well. thankfully, noah now understands two important things - 1. he does not have girls carry his back pack. 2. the phone does not come out of the back pack unless there's an emergency. sad noah. grateful emma.
as for reagan getting a cell phone when she turns 6... definitely. along with some mace, a panic button of some sorts and maybe even a taser gun for good measure. aaron has already ordered his night vision goggles for when she starts to date.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Christmas
i know this is about 4 weeks late - but i figured it's better late then never.
Christmas morning started out beautiful. Aaron was able to get these shots early that morning of the sun coming up outside our window. we really do live in a beautiful place.
As far as presents, Christmas was pretty small this year - more like a couple of small presents and one big family present. Noah wanted a wii for Christmas. we told him if he saved $100 of his own money we'd pay the rest and get him one for Christmas.
throughout the year, to help him be responsible, we'd find ways for him to yearn money through chores and helping with Reagan. Aaron's parents helped him earn money by paying him for just being so cute. - oh, yes, he learned a lot of responsibility that way. :) actually, they did pay him $25 for not drinking soda for two months. i didn't think he drank that much to begin with, as we rarely have his kind of soda in the house, but he was happy and was able to earn the rest of his $100.
so, for Christmas, Reagan got new blocks from Santa....
a new doll from us....
Noah a new lightsaber from Santa....
and he LOVES his new wii....
Overall, it was the perfect day. We spent time with family and with each other. I feel incredibly blessed to have such perfect, sweet children. They make me laugh more than they make me cry. :) I wouldn't want my life any other way.
Christmas morning started out beautiful. Aaron was able to get these shots early that morning of the sun coming up outside our window. we really do live in a beautiful place.
As far as presents, Christmas was pretty small this year - more like a couple of small presents and one big family present. Noah wanted a wii for Christmas. we told him if he saved $100 of his own money we'd pay the rest and get him one for Christmas.
throughout the year, to help him be responsible, we'd find ways for him to yearn money through chores and helping with Reagan. Aaron's parents helped him earn money by paying him for just being so cute. - oh, yes, he learned a lot of responsibility that way. :) actually, they did pay him $25 for not drinking soda for two months. i didn't think he drank that much to begin with, as we rarely have his kind of soda in the house, but he was happy and was able to earn the rest of his $100.
so, for Christmas, Reagan got new blocks from Santa....
a new doll from us....
Noah a new lightsaber from Santa....
and he LOVES his new wii....
Overall, it was the perfect day. We spent time with family and with each other. I feel incredibly blessed to have such perfect, sweet children. They make me laugh more than they make me cry. :) I wouldn't want my life any other way.
Friday, January 23, 2009
not quite on the same page
It's funny to me how sometimes Aaron and I will handle things sooo differently.
for example, a few weeks ago. when we got home from church Noah asked if he could take a shower because he was really cold. when he got out of the shower he then asked if he could take a nap - a sure sign that he was getting sick. sure enough, when he woke up he had a high fever and threw-up all over the bathroom.
i don't care how much you love your child, big kid throw-up is disgusting.
anyway, as some of you know - Noah can tend to be a little... anxious about things. especially if he's sick, therefore - i tried to really down play it: you're just fine, sweetie. You just have a little upset tummy, but you're going to be okay, no worries. yes, you do feel a little warm, but that's nothing to be worried about, etc. etc.
this was helping Noah stay calm until Aaron got home from the store with medicine...
Noah: (tired, sick little voice) Dad.. I'm a little bit sick, but it's ok.
Aaron: Oh, little buddy, you're really sick.
(i give Aaron the "what are you doing???" look)
Aaron (cont.): you have a high fever and with your chills and aches, I'm pretty sure you have the flu. you're probably going to miss school for a few days.
(i no longer have time for the 'are you kidding me' look, as I'm now looking around for something to throw at Aaron)
Noah: WHAT?? I HAVE THE FLU?? (now he's crying) I can't go to school? am I dying? (lots more crying)
Aaron: (now understands the importance of 'downplay') oh, bub, you're ok, um, we'll get you some medicine and, I'm sure you'll only miss one day of school - two at the most.
Grandpa has now come in the house
Noah: GRANDPA! (more crying) I HAVE THE FLU!!! (more crying) I'M GOING TO DIE!
eventually, i convinced Noah he would be fine and would not be dying anytime soon.
I was also able to go over a few words, with Aaron, that should be avoided around Noah: very sick, the flu, deathbed illness, blood, stitches, shots, any form of amputation, 'I'll beat you silly' - even when said jokingly, it does not sound so funny when repeated by Noah to his teachers.
CLARIFICATION: 'i'll beat you silly' is from the boys playing wii. never has it meant bodily harm. just thought i'd make that clear.
for example, a few weeks ago. when we got home from church Noah asked if he could take a shower because he was really cold. when he got out of the shower he then asked if he could take a nap - a sure sign that he was getting sick. sure enough, when he woke up he had a high fever and threw-up all over the bathroom.
i don't care how much you love your child, big kid throw-up is disgusting.
anyway, as some of you know - Noah can tend to be a little... anxious about things. especially if he's sick, therefore - i tried to really down play it: you're just fine, sweetie. You just have a little upset tummy, but you're going to be okay, no worries. yes, you do feel a little warm, but that's nothing to be worried about, etc. etc.
this was helping Noah stay calm until Aaron got home from the store with medicine...
Noah: (tired, sick little voice) Dad.. I'm a little bit sick, but it's ok.
Aaron: Oh, little buddy, you're really sick.
(i give Aaron the "what are you doing???" look)
Aaron (cont.): you have a high fever and with your chills and aches, I'm pretty sure you have the flu. you're probably going to miss school for a few days.
(i no longer have time for the 'are you kidding me' look, as I'm now looking around for something to throw at Aaron)
Noah: WHAT?? I HAVE THE FLU?? (now he's crying) I can't go to school? am I dying? (lots more crying)
Aaron: (now understands the importance of 'downplay') oh, bub, you're ok, um, we'll get you some medicine and, I'm sure you'll only miss one day of school - two at the most.
Grandpa has now come in the house
Noah: GRANDPA! (more crying) I HAVE THE FLU!!! (more crying) I'M GOING TO DIE!
eventually, i convinced Noah he would be fine and would not be dying anytime soon.
I was also able to go over a few words, with Aaron, that should be avoided around Noah: very sick, the flu, deathbed illness, blood, stitches, shots, any form of amputation, 'I'll beat you silly' - even when said jokingly, it does not sound so funny when repeated by Noah to his teachers.
CLARIFICATION: 'i'll beat you silly' is from the boys playing wii. never has it meant bodily harm. just thought i'd make that clear.
Monday, December 29, 2008
A dream come true
When I say 'dream come true' I should clarify that today was Aaron's dream come true. Since we found out we were having a boy, 6 1/2 years ago, he has talked about the day he would take his son skiing. Today, it was made possible, by my friend Jayme. lets all give a big shout out to Jayme! She hooked us up with a full-day ski lesson for Noah and free passes for me and Aaron. We were very tricky and was able to put it together as a treasure hunt of sorts for the boys for Christmas. It's not an exaggeration to say that Aaron got a little emotional with the present. I won't go into details because I promised him it would not hit my blog. :)
that being said, it was really cool to see how much this meant to him.
So... we woke up this morning, my niece, Michele and Nikki, came to watch Reagan (thank you!!!!!) so we could head up to Snowbird. 20 minutes later we were parked and signing in Noah for his class. He was excited and could care less that we were leaving him. seriously - what does it take to get your kid to shed at least one tear at your departure??
before we fast forward to the end of the day with Noah, i thought I'd give you an idea of what i put Aaron through.
Aaron and i took off for the chickadee hill. yes, this hill was a challenge for me -i've skied once, 15 years ago. It's rather shocking how much your body changes from 18 to 33. good grief. needless to say, i doubt i'll be able to move much in the morning. but, it didn't matter because Aaron bought me new ski pants(90% off) and a new ski coat and hat. i must say, i looked rather fancy when i wasn't trying to actually move on the ski's.
my downfall started with the chairs. it wasn't the getting on or riding up, but more the getting off at the top.
I didn't realize, having not skied in so long, how spastically unbalanced i would be. when i stood up, to get off the ski lift, my legs moved way to quick for the rest of my body and as a result my arms went flailing, knocking Aaron pretty hard in the head. As it was early in the day, he was able to refrain from any bad words. from there, according to Aaron, we spent a painstaking 60 minutes going up and down the chickadee hill with me doing the snowplow every inch of the way. eventually, to keep his sanity, i agreed to go on the bigger hill. As far as i was concerned we might as well have been on Mount Everest. but, it didn't matter, I was going to be brave, graceful, and make it down the hill without killing anyone. (1 out of 3 isn't so bad)
this run was pretty mellow, except for 2 steep parts. the first part, i like to call my 'personal hell'. it was impossible. i gave up eventually and figured i was going to fall and it would be better to throw myself down then fall badly and brake something. the second part was going ok until 1/4 of the way down my cell phone starts ringing. Now, at this point, i'm certain Noah has fallen and broken a leg and they're calling me to come back. i'm terrified and in my effort to stop quickly and i completely lose control and go flying off the side of the run into about 4 feet of fresh powder. this is the point Aaron's bad words start because he turns to see me falling and my skis flying. once i knew i hadn't broken anything, i grabbed my phone to see it wasn't Noah, it was a friend calling to chat. when aaron made it over to help me, he was less then pleased when he found out the reason i went screaming off the mountain. i was grounded from the phone after that. We then spent the next 15 minutes trying to get me off the ground. it's not easy with 10 pound boots and 3 foot skis when you have no coordination and no sense to just unclip the boot and stand up like a normal person would. At one point aaron told me to just lift one leg really hard to get it out of the snow... i did... aaron got COVERED as snow went flying in his mouth, nose, down his jacket, etc. i would tell you what he said, but if feels as though i'm repeating myself. :)
By the time we headed back to find Noah, I had made it down the hill without falling, and true to form i raised my poles and yelled to anyone watching me "I did it!!! I didn't fall!!!" it was a triumphant moment. But, better then that - better then not taking out the 10 kids in front of me in a ski class, better then not breaking bones or running into a tree, better then any moment of the day was going to the Chickadee hill and seeing Noah...
honestly, it was the cutest thing i've ever seen. This little man skiing down the hill as though it's a perfectly natural easy thing to do. he wasn't clumsy or awkward. he was perfect.
while he went back with his class to get his report card, aaron and i did one more run down the Chickadee hill. Aaron decided to take some pictures of me actually skiing without my arms thrown out sideways and my legs practically in the splits trying to avoid any possible speed.
Here's Aaron picture of him boarding while taking pictures of me skiing.
To end the day, Aaron took his son so they could ski together down the hill. It's easy to see, watching them together, why this was a dream of Aaron's. It was the highlight of my day.
It was the perfect day.
Thank you to everyone who helped make this day possible - Jayme, for our day at Snowbird, and for Michelle, Nikki and grandma for watching Reagan. We couldn't have done it without you.
that being said, it was really cool to see how much this meant to him.
So... we woke up this morning, my niece, Michele and Nikki, came to watch Reagan (thank you!!!!!) so we could head up to Snowbird. 20 minutes later we were parked and signing in Noah for his class. He was excited and could care less that we were leaving him. seriously - what does it take to get your kid to shed at least one tear at your departure??
before we fast forward to the end of the day with Noah, i thought I'd give you an idea of what i put Aaron through.
Aaron and i took off for the chickadee hill. yes, this hill was a challenge for me -i've skied once, 15 years ago. It's rather shocking how much your body changes from 18 to 33. good grief. needless to say, i doubt i'll be able to move much in the morning. but, it didn't matter because Aaron bought me new ski pants(90% off) and a new ski coat and hat. i must say, i looked rather fancy when i wasn't trying to actually move on the ski's.
my downfall started with the chairs. it wasn't the getting on or riding up, but more the getting off at the top.
I didn't realize, having not skied in so long, how spastically unbalanced i would be. when i stood up, to get off the ski lift, my legs moved way to quick for the rest of my body and as a result my arms went flailing, knocking Aaron pretty hard in the head. As it was early in the day, he was able to refrain from any bad words. from there, according to Aaron, we spent a painstaking 60 minutes going up and down the chickadee hill with me doing the snowplow every inch of the way. eventually, to keep his sanity, i agreed to go on the bigger hill. As far as i was concerned we might as well have been on Mount Everest. but, it didn't matter, I was going to be brave, graceful, and make it down the hill without killing anyone. (1 out of 3 isn't so bad)
this run was pretty mellow, except for 2 steep parts. the first part, i like to call my 'personal hell'. it was impossible. i gave up eventually and figured i was going to fall and it would be better to throw myself down then fall badly and brake something. the second part was going ok until 1/4 of the way down my cell phone starts ringing. Now, at this point, i'm certain Noah has fallen and broken a leg and they're calling me to come back. i'm terrified and in my effort to stop quickly and i completely lose control and go flying off the side of the run into about 4 feet of fresh powder. this is the point Aaron's bad words start because he turns to see me falling and my skis flying. once i knew i hadn't broken anything, i grabbed my phone to see it wasn't Noah, it was a friend calling to chat. when aaron made it over to help me, he was less then pleased when he found out the reason i went screaming off the mountain. i was grounded from the phone after that. We then spent the next 15 minutes trying to get me off the ground. it's not easy with 10 pound boots and 3 foot skis when you have no coordination and no sense to just unclip the boot and stand up like a normal person would. At one point aaron told me to just lift one leg really hard to get it out of the snow... i did... aaron got COVERED as snow went flying in his mouth, nose, down his jacket, etc. i would tell you what he said, but if feels as though i'm repeating myself. :)
By the time we headed back to find Noah, I had made it down the hill without falling, and true to form i raised my poles and yelled to anyone watching me "I did it!!! I didn't fall!!!" it was a triumphant moment. But, better then that - better then not taking out the 10 kids in front of me in a ski class, better then not breaking bones or running into a tree, better then any moment of the day was going to the Chickadee hill and seeing Noah...
honestly, it was the cutest thing i've ever seen. This little man skiing down the hill as though it's a perfectly natural easy thing to do. he wasn't clumsy or awkward. he was perfect.
while he went back with his class to get his report card, aaron and i did one more run down the Chickadee hill. Aaron decided to take some pictures of me actually skiing without my arms thrown out sideways and my legs practically in the splits trying to avoid any possible speed.
Here's Aaron picture of him boarding while taking pictures of me skiing.
To end the day, Aaron took his son so they could ski together down the hill. It's easy to see, watching them together, why this was a dream of Aaron's. It was the highlight of my day.
It was the perfect day.
Thank you to everyone who helped make this day possible - Jayme, for our day at Snowbird, and for Michelle, Nikki and grandma for watching Reagan. We couldn't have done it without you.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
oh no he didn't
I don't know if any of you can relate to this... in my house, as soon as i get on the phone it seems as though Noah has an instant need that he must discuss with me. no, no, it can't wait. It's vital that at 4:05 pm, while i'm on the phone, he finds out if he can read in his bed at bed time, or can he take lunch to school tomorrow, or he just needs to tell me that someday when he gets married he's going to have a dog. whatever the reason, it's important and absolutely cannot wait for me to get off the phone.
yesterday was no exception, although - he did take it one step farther.
I was on my cell phone with the cable company and Noah comes in the room....
noah: mom.
i ignore him as i talk on the phone.
noah: mom. (pause) mom. (pause) excuse me mom.
i give him the 'not while i'm on the phone' look.
noah: (using a loud whisper - as if that's any better) m-o-m.
me: (whispering) not now, i'll be off in just a sec. don't interrupt.
noah: (totally exasperated, but still whispering) uuuggghhh - mom, i need to talk to you.
At this point i turn away from him as i'm wrapping up the call. this takes a few seconds when my other line starts beeping. i thank the customer service guy for his help and quickly click over to the incoming call.
me: hello.
noah: excuse me, mom, can i have a cheese stick?
i turn around to see noah on our land line. yes, he had called my cell thinking that would be a more effective way interrupt.
thankfully, being the patient and calm mother that i am, i was able to explain to him the error of his ways with a minimal amount of bad words. 2, 3 tops.
yesterday was no exception, although - he did take it one step farther.
I was on my cell phone with the cable company and Noah comes in the room....
noah: mom.
i ignore him as i talk on the phone.
noah: mom. (pause) mom. (pause) excuse me mom.
i give him the 'not while i'm on the phone' look.
noah: (using a loud whisper - as if that's any better) m-o-m.
me: (whispering) not now, i'll be off in just a sec. don't interrupt.
noah: (totally exasperated, but still whispering) uuuggghhh - mom, i need to talk to you.
At this point i turn away from him as i'm wrapping up the call. this takes a few seconds when my other line starts beeping. i thank the customer service guy for his help and quickly click over to the incoming call.
me: hello.
noah: excuse me, mom, can i have a cheese stick?
i turn around to see noah on our land line. yes, he had called my cell thinking that would be a more effective way interrupt.
thankfully, being the patient and calm mother that i am, i was able to explain to him the error of his ways with a minimal amount of bad words. 2, 3 tops.
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