i had decided to not write about this... until yesterday when noah got home from school and i figured on some level it was too funny not to tell you.
a few weeks ago the first grade teachers needed volunteers to watch their classes so they could attend a 45 minute meeting. i volunteered for Noah's class. really - how much damage could i do in 45 minutes?
once there, the teacher gave me a list of things to do with the kids while she was gone. give them their math test. fine, no problem. help them correct their tests. again, no problem. (one girl did get emotional because another boy accused her of erasing his answers and writing in wrong ones, but i quickly diffused that situation. this teachings stuff is a piece of cake) next, read them a book. loved it - used all my funny voices - got strange looks from the children. and then use the last 20 minutes to teach them fractions. uh, yeah, slight problem - i could never do fractions. algebra, geometry, trig - awesome, loved it, bring it on. but fractions? i knew we were in trouble. not wanting to sound like a moron to the teacher i just smiled as she told me to draw a pizza on the board and take slices away and write the fractions. then she handed me a worksheet to have them do with lots of samples and lines for them to write the fractions. honestly, how complicated could this be? surely, i could teach this simple fraction writing, right?
yeah, not so much.
after, what i thought, were plenty of pizza's and lots of fractions, i figured we could do the worksheet. without really looking at it first, i handed it out to all the children. within about 20 seconds, 10 hands went up. "Mrs. Walker, Mrs. Walker, I don't get it. How do i do this? What does this mean?" trying not to look nervous i told them i'd get to each of them and to work on the top lines till i got there (just counting pizza slices - not too difficult). unfortunately, as i went to the first student and looked at the rest of the worksheet i was completely lost for words. there were all these pizza's, but not with drawn out pieces missing - just drawn showing how many slices were left. some slices thick and some small so there was no telling how many slices there were to start with. how could i teach them a fraction when i didn't have all the information? for the love. so, i did what any good substitute does and i made it up as i went. after a few students, i'd try a different route in answering the questions, so forth and so on. in the end i probably explained the worksheet in 4 completely different ways. i figured this way at least some of the kids would get it right. at one point, i told them to just write what numbers looked good. have i no shame?
needless to say, when the teacher returned i told her that the kids may need a little more explanation on the worksheet, and left it at that.
now, weeks later, i was going through noah's backpack and found that the teacher had finally corrected the worksheets and sent them home. yes, noah missed every single one and had the note 'please redue and return'. my only hope is that i got at least one of my explanations right and not every student failed.
noah and i sat down, reread the instructions in a much calmer quieter setting and finished the worksheet. sadly enough, when he brought the worksheet back home... he still missed two. however, in my defense, it was only because we had drawn in the wrong number of missing slices. going off our pictures, his fractions were right and so i figures we got an A+. i'm quite proud of it.
so, there you go. now you all know that if noah graduates high school and goes on to college, it will have had nothing to do with my tutoring skills.
may we all wish him, and reagan, the best of luck.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
swimming
here's the post grandma has been waiting for. all pictures of the kids.
this was our first day taking Reagan swimming... first of all - why do little girls always look so adorable in swimsuits? and why is that the chubby, dimply, rolls on their legs always bring smiles and phrases like "oh, look at those legs?? i love it!" No one ever says that to me - it's a very one-sided world.
she was hysterical walking in the water. she would tighten up her fists and squeel while making this face....
eventually, she recovered and before long was in the water trying to be independant once again.
as for Noah - he's like an otter. this boy loves the water and if truth be told - he's a much better swimmer than me. I don't have a lot of pictures of him because he spent most of his time under water swimming or going down the slide. i have no doubt he'd stay all day if we'd let him.
this was our first day taking Reagan swimming... first of all - why do little girls always look so adorable in swimsuits? and why is that the chubby, dimply, rolls on their legs always bring smiles and phrases like "oh, look at those legs?? i love it!" No one ever says that to me - it's a very one-sided world.
she was hysterical walking in the water. she would tighten up her fists and squeel while making this face....
(obviously minus the speghetti, i just wasn't able to capture it going into the water as i was focusing too much on her not slipping at that point)
once in, she seemed to love walking in the water, watching it swirl around her. the best was when she'd start taking these huge slow steps - almost as if she was trying to step up on top of the water instead of just walking through it. i couldn't get the camera to take a decent video of it - so this will have to do...
after she played at the bottom of the slide, she decided she could walk by her self in the water. With grandpa by her side, she made it about 3 steps before she fell. as i'm a totally rational, calm mother i did not freak out like i would have with noah, i camly controlled my desire to scream "MY BABY!!" and instead, seeing that grandpa had already retrieved her up out of the water, i camly put the camera away before i consoled my precious little girl. unfortunately, once in grandpa's arms, there was no getting her back. seriously, she wouldn't leave him - even for me - for about 20 minutes...
eventually, she recovered and before long was in the water trying to be independant once again.
as for Noah - he's like an otter. this boy loves the water and if truth be told - he's a much better swimmer than me. I don't have a lot of pictures of him because he spent most of his time under water swimming or going down the slide. i have no doubt he'd stay all day if we'd let him.
Friday, April 3, 2009
well that was gross
first - to grandma... i have a post with lots of pictures just for you, i only need to proof read it. i'll try to do it tomorrow.
ok... i just had to write about this because it was so disgusting and then kept getting worse. like a really bad movie. (**cough** twilight **cough**)
anyway - we're out to dinner with some friends and the sitter calls to tell me Reagan has thrown up. she seemed pretty upset about it (the sitter) so i told her i'd come home. i left everyone at the restaurant to finish their meal and i ran home to clean up the mess. Once home - Reagan seemed fine. happy, walking around - a little smelly from the throw-up - but overall not really bothered. i figured she must have eaten something that upset her... who knows. once i clean her up i ask the sitter to hang with noah while i run back to the restaurant to pick up aaron and our friends.
Once there, Reagan and I head inside. first, i stop at the register to get cash so i can pay the sitter. with cash in one hand, reagan in the other, i make my way through the restaurant. i'm passing a table of about 10 people when i hear the gurgling and look to see reagan beginning her first projectile... let me repeat, PROJECTILE, vomit. we're talking chunks of rice, chicken, beans and a whole slice of an orange, flying out of her mouth. time seemed to stand still as i see the splatter of throw-up, the shocked faces of the 10 kids (early 20's) who obviously have no children of their own, and back to reagan who has now begun her 2nd projectile vomit. this time Aaron and Gary have heard/seen the mess and are racing over to me, i'm still trying to catch what vomit i can in the hand with the money, while the table of people are watching in horror - seriously, horror - as more chunks are flying. thankfully, someone finally reacted and handed us some napkins. while aaron is wiping us down and Gary is getting more napkins, reagan proceeds to spew what's left in her stomach a third, Fourth and fifth time. one of those times landed on the back of a ladies North Face jacket, who promptly covered her mouth as she frantically swallowed back the bile that was threatening to come out.
for those of you wondering why i was just standing there while reagan is destroying the floor and what is left of anyones appetite: 1. i was trying to contain the damage to one area of the restaurant. 2. this all happened in about 20 seconds - not a lot of time to run... although i did briefly considering running to the salsa bar. 3. i figured it was a good experience for all those young couples even thinking about having children.
by now reagan seems to have stopped, so we take our leave and head home. i'm covered in throw-up, reagan's covered in throw-up and we're all trying to keep our dinner down as we try not breathing threw our noses. once home, aaron starts a bath and i'm literally rinsing off the babysitters money. she watches me flick some rice of the bills as i'm rinsing them, and offers to not be paid at all. i assure her the money will dry and will be just fine. aaron takes her home and i strip reagan down for her bath. when aaron gets back, i go to get pj's while he plays her songs on his guitar. (she loves splashing in the water while aaron plays for her). it's not long before I hear aaron yelling for me. i come out in the hallway to see aaron holding a naked crying girl - apparently, now that her stomach is empty all that's left is diarrhea. yup, the bath is now full of poop. seriously, how many smelly, disgusting things can come out of one adorable little girl?
needless to say, after a quick shower, two more runny diapers and lots of cuddling and rocking she seems to be over the worse of it. i'm not sure i can say the same for the sitter or the people at the restaurant. as for me... i'm going to go finish cloroxing the tub and disinfecting every toy in the house.
ahhh, the joys of parenthood.
ok... i just had to write about this because it was so disgusting and then kept getting worse. like a really bad movie. (**cough** twilight **cough**)
anyway - we're out to dinner with some friends and the sitter calls to tell me Reagan has thrown up. she seemed pretty upset about it (the sitter) so i told her i'd come home. i left everyone at the restaurant to finish their meal and i ran home to clean up the mess. Once home - Reagan seemed fine. happy, walking around - a little smelly from the throw-up - but overall not really bothered. i figured she must have eaten something that upset her... who knows. once i clean her up i ask the sitter to hang with noah while i run back to the restaurant to pick up aaron and our friends.
Once there, Reagan and I head inside. first, i stop at the register to get cash so i can pay the sitter. with cash in one hand, reagan in the other, i make my way through the restaurant. i'm passing a table of about 10 people when i hear the gurgling and look to see reagan beginning her first projectile... let me repeat, PROJECTILE, vomit. we're talking chunks of rice, chicken, beans and a whole slice of an orange, flying out of her mouth. time seemed to stand still as i see the splatter of throw-up, the shocked faces of the 10 kids (early 20's) who obviously have no children of their own, and back to reagan who has now begun her 2nd projectile vomit. this time Aaron and Gary have heard/seen the mess and are racing over to me, i'm still trying to catch what vomit i can in the hand with the money, while the table of people are watching in horror - seriously, horror - as more chunks are flying. thankfully, someone finally reacted and handed us some napkins. while aaron is wiping us down and Gary is getting more napkins, reagan proceeds to spew what's left in her stomach a third, Fourth and fifth time. one of those times landed on the back of a ladies North Face jacket, who promptly covered her mouth as she frantically swallowed back the bile that was threatening to come out.
for those of you wondering why i was just standing there while reagan is destroying the floor and what is left of anyones appetite: 1. i was trying to contain the damage to one area of the restaurant. 2. this all happened in about 20 seconds - not a lot of time to run... although i did briefly considering running to the salsa bar. 3. i figured it was a good experience for all those young couples even thinking about having children.
by now reagan seems to have stopped, so we take our leave and head home. i'm covered in throw-up, reagan's covered in throw-up and we're all trying to keep our dinner down as we try not breathing threw our noses. once home, aaron starts a bath and i'm literally rinsing off the babysitters money. she watches me flick some rice of the bills as i'm rinsing them, and offers to not be paid at all. i assure her the money will dry and will be just fine. aaron takes her home and i strip reagan down for her bath. when aaron gets back, i go to get pj's while he plays her songs on his guitar. (she loves splashing in the water while aaron plays for her). it's not long before I hear aaron yelling for me. i come out in the hallway to see aaron holding a naked crying girl - apparently, now that her stomach is empty all that's left is diarrhea. yup, the bath is now full of poop. seriously, how many smelly, disgusting things can come out of one adorable little girl?
needless to say, after a quick shower, two more runny diapers and lots of cuddling and rocking she seems to be over the worse of it. i'm not sure i can say the same for the sitter or the people at the restaurant. as for me... i'm going to go finish cloroxing the tub and disinfecting every toy in the house.
ahhh, the joys of parenthood.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
role reversal
as follow-up to my previous post - it's amazing how good it feels to vent and even better to hear that others can feel the same way. thank you to all who commented - it was great to hear from you.
as for today's post - i was going to fulfill grandma's wish and post pictures, but unfortunately our computer gave up the ghost over the weekend. i haven't had time to transfer pictures over to the new computer yet - so grandma's post will have to wait a few more days.
in the meantime i thought i'd share a conversation i had with noah the other night... or more appropriately - he had with me.
a few nights ago aaron and i got into an "energized" conversation. we usually try to keep these kinds of conversations for when the kids are in bed, but there are a few occasions when we don't quite hit that goal. this night we were getting ready to run some errands. i got snippy and said a few things. aaron said a few things. not able to let it go - even with noah standing next to us - i said a few more things and then aaron crossed the line. (maybe in my emotional state, my line was a little too easily crossed, but none the less - crossed is crossed.) so in my mature nature i informed him he would not be coming with us and i grabbed the kids and headed to the car.
about 3 minutes later this conversation ensues:
noah: uh hum. mom.
me: what noah.
noah: i really don't think you should yell at dad. that's not what Jesus would do.
me: (completely not in the mood to have my 6-year-old point out things i already know) i know, i shouldn't have yelled. (just to press my immaturity level) but he yelled at me first.
noah: (sighs, as though he's talking to a 4-year-old) mom. just because someone yells at you doesn't mean you should yell at them. if someone says something that makes you upset you should just tell him that what he said made you feel sad and to please not talk that way. yelling will never solve your problems.
me: (trying not to laugh as noah is almost verbatim telling me what i've told him so many times) you're right noah. i shouldn't have gotten angry. (and to keep up with this odd role reversal) but, what about dad? he shouldn't have gotten mad either.
noah: no, he shouldn't have and i'll talk to him when we get home. you just need to remember that it's never good to fight with people. it will never make you feel happy inside. i want you to think about this and how you could have handled things better.
not trusting myself to talk without laughing, it's now quiet for a few minutes until...
noah: mom?
me: yes, noah.
noah: i have a really good feeling inside from helping you. i think the Holy Ghost is telling me i did a good job in helping you and dad tonight. *sigh*.
honestly - where did this child come from? too funny. And, true to form, as soon as we got home - noah went and found aaron for his 'talk'. aaron came out a few minutes later shaking his head trying not to laugh.
i may have moments where being a mom feels overwhelming, but i wouldn't trade times like this for anything.
as for today's post - i was going to fulfill grandma's wish and post pictures, but unfortunately our computer gave up the ghost over the weekend. i haven't had time to transfer pictures over to the new computer yet - so grandma's post will have to wait a few more days.
in the meantime i thought i'd share a conversation i had with noah the other night... or more appropriately - he had with me.
a few nights ago aaron and i got into an "energized" conversation. we usually try to keep these kinds of conversations for when the kids are in bed, but there are a few occasions when we don't quite hit that goal. this night we were getting ready to run some errands. i got snippy and said a few things. aaron said a few things. not able to let it go - even with noah standing next to us - i said a few more things and then aaron crossed the line. (maybe in my emotional state, my line was a little too easily crossed, but none the less - crossed is crossed.) so in my mature nature i informed him he would not be coming with us and i grabbed the kids and headed to the car.
about 3 minutes later this conversation ensues:
noah: uh hum. mom.
me: what noah.
noah: i really don't think you should yell at dad. that's not what Jesus would do.
me: (completely not in the mood to have my 6-year-old point out things i already know) i know, i shouldn't have yelled. (just to press my immaturity level) but he yelled at me first.
noah: (sighs, as though he's talking to a 4-year-old) mom. just because someone yells at you doesn't mean you should yell at them. if someone says something that makes you upset you should just tell him that what he said made you feel sad and to please not talk that way. yelling will never solve your problems.
me: (trying not to laugh as noah is almost verbatim telling me what i've told him so many times) you're right noah. i shouldn't have gotten angry. (and to keep up with this odd role reversal) but, what about dad? he shouldn't have gotten mad either.
noah: no, he shouldn't have and i'll talk to him when we get home. you just need to remember that it's never good to fight with people. it will never make you feel happy inside. i want you to think about this and how you could have handled things better.
not trusting myself to talk without laughing, it's now quiet for a few minutes until...
noah: mom?
me: yes, noah.
noah: i have a really good feeling inside from helping you. i think the Holy Ghost is telling me i did a good job in helping you and dad tonight. *sigh*.
honestly - where did this child come from? too funny. And, true to form, as soon as we got home - noah went and found aaron for his 'talk'. aaron came out a few minutes later shaking his head trying not to laugh.
i may have moments where being a mom feels overwhelming, but i wouldn't trade times like this for anything.
Monday, February 23, 2009
a day off
Have you ever felt like just saying “I’m done”? I don’t want to cook, clean, wipe, wash, explain, be patient or smile when I don’t feel like smiling. I am not a jungle gym or a pillow to be pushed and pulled until you’re comfortable. I am neither Martha Stewart nor Mother Teresa. There are some days when I want to say, “if I hear the words ‘why’ or ‘but’ one more time, I will lose what is left of my sanity.
Have you ever felt like you were not made to be this naturally charming, patient wife and mother? I remember living in Virginia and going to a friends house to pick something up. It was just before 5:00 and I walked in to see her in an apron, dinner on the stove, the dining room table completely set, and the children playing happily. I looked suspiciously around for some kind of external influence that was helping her – a little somethin’, somethin’ of this or that… maybe even a little NyQuil on the table dished out to the little ones. But no, there was nothing. She was really just that good at being a mom. And then she had her 4th and I thought for sure this would do her in, but to my selfish disappointment she was, yet again, ready and able for the challenge. She hosted a 4th of July party 2 weeks after she got home from the hospital!
I say 'selfish disappointment', because while the greater part of me was in awe with admiration and wonder, the small - totally immature - side of me wished to see someone else feel as inadequate as I do. I often think that when my children grow up to be amazing people, it will have had nothing to do with me. Honestly – my daughter is 15 months old and she has no idea how to use any kind of silverware yet. I first have to trust her to keep the food on her tray before I put a would-be weapon in her hands. And instead of just glowing at the fact that my son is so bright and inquisitive about every single thing that comes into his head – I find myself wishing that for just 30 seconds he would close that precious little mouth and learn to enjoy silence as much as I do. Or, when my daughter will not stop screaming in her very dramatic, poor-me, life-is-so-hard-when-someone-isn’t-stacking-blocks-for-me temper tantrum - I will do anything to stop the crying. If that means she gets an otter pop at 10:00 am – so be it.
The ‘good’ mom would sit with her son and answer any question his little mind can come up with and then go through the encyclopedia’s, A-Z, just in case he missed a topic. The ‘good’ mom would sit with her daughter and forget about her book or her project on the computer and would stack blocks for as long as was needed and then willingly move on to any other toy that captured the girl’s attention. And most of all, the ‘good’ mom and wife would fix healthy meals for when the husband gets home instead of ordering pizza, looking for anything frozen from Costco or pulling out the cereal and milk.
It’s funny how as a little girl I imagined being this amazing wife and a mother with patience to spare, and yet so often I’m finding myself just surviving one day at a time. Maybe the generation before me was really made up of these perfect women who excelled in their role as wife and mother. Or maybe, just maybe – as the selfish part of me wants to think – they struggled too, just never out loud. Who knows.
I guess today’s post is for those of you who find times where you just want a break. Some time away. A moment of peace and quiet - maybe even a chance to eat a meal while it’s still hot.
For those of you like me – I wish you luck in finding that much needed day off.
For those of you who have it all put together - may all your children get measles at once.
Have you ever felt like you were not made to be this naturally charming, patient wife and mother? I remember living in Virginia and going to a friends house to pick something up. It was just before 5:00 and I walked in to see her in an apron, dinner on the stove, the dining room table completely set, and the children playing happily. I looked suspiciously around for some kind of external influence that was helping her – a little somethin’, somethin’ of this or that… maybe even a little NyQuil on the table dished out to the little ones. But no, there was nothing. She was really just that good at being a mom. And then she had her 4th and I thought for sure this would do her in, but to my selfish disappointment she was, yet again, ready and able for the challenge. She hosted a 4th of July party 2 weeks after she got home from the hospital!
I say 'selfish disappointment', because while the greater part of me was in awe with admiration and wonder, the small - totally immature - side of me wished to see someone else feel as inadequate as I do. I often think that when my children grow up to be amazing people, it will have had nothing to do with me. Honestly – my daughter is 15 months old and she has no idea how to use any kind of silverware yet. I first have to trust her to keep the food on her tray before I put a would-be weapon in her hands. And instead of just glowing at the fact that my son is so bright and inquisitive about every single thing that comes into his head – I find myself wishing that for just 30 seconds he would close that precious little mouth and learn to enjoy silence as much as I do. Or, when my daughter will not stop screaming in her very dramatic, poor-me, life-is-so-hard-when-someone-isn’t-stacking-blocks-for-me temper tantrum - I will do anything to stop the crying. If that means she gets an otter pop at 10:00 am – so be it.
The ‘good’ mom would sit with her son and answer any question his little mind can come up with and then go through the encyclopedia’s, A-Z, just in case he missed a topic. The ‘good’ mom would sit with her daughter and forget about her book or her project on the computer and would stack blocks for as long as was needed and then willingly move on to any other toy that captured the girl’s attention. And most of all, the ‘good’ mom and wife would fix healthy meals for when the husband gets home instead of ordering pizza, looking for anything frozen from Costco or pulling out the cereal and milk.
It’s funny how as a little girl I imagined being this amazing wife and a mother with patience to spare, and yet so often I’m finding myself just surviving one day at a time. Maybe the generation before me was really made up of these perfect women who excelled in their role as wife and mother. Or maybe, just maybe – as the selfish part of me wants to think – they struggled too, just never out loud. Who knows.
I guess today’s post is for those of you who find times where you just want a break. Some time away. A moment of peace and quiet - maybe even a chance to eat a meal while it’s still hot.
For those of you like me – I wish you luck in finding that much needed day off.
For those of you who have it all put together - may all your children get measles at once.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
so easily entertained
i really do love this age.
reagan played with this basket for about 45 minutes. it was so funny watching how entertained she was. if only we could all be so happy with the little things.
reagan played with this basket for about 45 minutes. it was so funny watching how entertained she was. if only we could all be so happy with the little things.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
*&@%# you resolutions
i have done a lot of dumb things in my life, but this one definitely takes the cake... no pun intended.
my new years resolution was to go this year without any kind of sweets/desserts/food for the soul (chocolate, of course), etc., etc. my hope was to lose at least some of the baby weight from Reagan *cough* and noah *cough*. i had come to the conclusion that even though i go to the gym 4-5 days a week, the brownies for breakfast and any other sweets i could find all day long were possibly hindering my efforts. so, i took the plunge and quit cold turkey. (thankfully, aaron decided to do this with me - i could never have done it alone this long)
as i'm now approaching my 6th week of no sweets i have found it's getting harder, not easier. life without desserts sucks. instead of sweets i'm trying to eat healthy, but it's just not the same wallowing with a bowl of steamed carrots without butter. really, without butter? what's the point. then they just taste like mushy carrots. if i have to eat healthy veggies, at least let me slather them with butter and salt. curse you fat grams!!! when it comes down to it - there is simply no satisfaction in emotionally eating when it won't stick to my thighs.
that being said, i decided to write a little poem about my 'no sweets' journey...
ODE TO DESSERTS
in sad times or good times you were always there.
you gave all you could, so willing to share.
each calorie you gave, hit just the right spot -
and gave me comfort - where carrots could not.
each treat was unique in it's own special way.
whether chocolate chips from the fridge or something gourmet.
especially at times when i was an emotional mess,
i could always count on sweets to help with the stress.
but here is were my tale turns quite tragic.
i discovered my metabolism did not work like magic.
brownies, cookies, ice cream, cakes and pies,
while gave me happiness, went straight to my thighs.
was it worth that extra brownie or two (or four)
if i would have to turn sideways to get through the door?
cause this was the path my life was on
as i realized my waistline was definitely gone.
in desperation i set a date,
when no more sweets i would take.
it's been sad and hard, but i've held my grounds,
and as a result i've lost 12 pounds.
just so you know, to be perfectly clear -
my resolution is only this year.
i may loose more weight, healthy food may have won
but come january 1st, i'll enjoy undoing all i have done.
my new years resolution was to go this year without any kind of sweets/desserts/food for the soul (chocolate, of course), etc., etc. my hope was to lose at least some of the baby weight from Reagan *cough* and noah *cough*. i had come to the conclusion that even though i go to the gym 4-5 days a week, the brownies for breakfast and any other sweets i could find all day long were possibly hindering my efforts. so, i took the plunge and quit cold turkey. (thankfully, aaron decided to do this with me - i could never have done it alone this long)
as i'm now approaching my 6th week of no sweets i have found it's getting harder, not easier. life without desserts sucks. instead of sweets i'm trying to eat healthy, but it's just not the same wallowing with a bowl of steamed carrots without butter. really, without butter? what's the point. then they just taste like mushy carrots. if i have to eat healthy veggies, at least let me slather them with butter and salt. curse you fat grams!!! when it comes down to it - there is simply no satisfaction in emotionally eating when it won't stick to my thighs.
that being said, i decided to write a little poem about my 'no sweets' journey...
ODE TO DESSERTS
in sad times or good times you were always there.
you gave all you could, so willing to share.
each calorie you gave, hit just the right spot -
and gave me comfort - where carrots could not.
each treat was unique in it's own special way.
whether chocolate chips from the fridge or something gourmet.
especially at times when i was an emotional mess,
i could always count on sweets to help with the stress.
but here is were my tale turns quite tragic.
i discovered my metabolism did not work like magic.
brownies, cookies, ice cream, cakes and pies,
while gave me happiness, went straight to my thighs.
was it worth that extra brownie or two (or four)
if i would have to turn sideways to get through the door?
cause this was the path my life was on
as i realized my waistline was definitely gone.
in desperation i set a date,
when no more sweets i would take.
it's been sad and hard, but i've held my grounds,
and as a result i've lost 12 pounds.
just so you know, to be perfectly clear -
my resolution is only this year.
i may loose more weight, healthy food may have won
but come january 1st, i'll enjoy undoing all i have done.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
well that was weird
i had an odd morning a few weeks ago and since then have had a few people ask me if i was going to post it on my blog or not. i debated writing about it because there's so much of it i don't remember - but in the end, i figured i'd tell you what i could and link you to the rest of the story.
It was Inauguration morning. I'm sitting on my couch and i start to not feel very well. i don't know how to describe it, kind of like feeling that something just wasn't right. my head felt really fuzzy, my heart was pounding and i just felt funny inside. it was alarming enough that i had the thought to call aaron and tell him that something was wrong. At this point i looked around the room and realized Noah wasn't there with me. I started calling for him and running around the house looking for him. As i realized he wasn't in the house i started to panic. i tried to think of where he could be or what we had been doing but my mind was... blank. i called aaron in a panic and told him i couldn't find noah. he asked if he was at my friends house (we'll call her "Megan") because i had told him earlier i would be over there. not giving it a second thought, i grabbed reagan and drove over to megans'. (i should note that she lives 4 houses away - but in an emergency, a car seemed faster then walking with a one-year old.)
By now I'm crying and am in a total panic as i knock on Megan's door.
bits of this part are blurry, but i believe the conversation went something like this:
Me: Is Noah here?
Megan: (with a confused look) yes. you just left him here a few minutes ago.
Me: (more confused then Megan and much more scared) what? i just left him here? i was here?
Megan: Brenda, you left here about 15 minutes ago. you spent the morning here.
Me: What?
Megan: I think you should come and sit down.
Apparently, i had spent the past few hours of that morning with Megan and her girls and had left to change Reagans diaper. I left Noah there to play. But, I have no memory of that morning. i have no memory of being at Megan's house or talking with her girls. the morning was completely gone from my memory. at some point i do remember my father-in-law showing up to take the kids and shortly after Aaron came. I vaguely remember sitting by Megan on her couch (she claims there was some petting of her hair going on... i guess i should be grateful it stopped there)
the last memory i have at her house is standing by the door while aaron is saying something about an insta-care. while he's talking her oldest daughter walks in the room and i remember hugging her and telling her how good it was to see her. at this point aaron says he's going to take me to the hospital - evidently she had been in the room a few minutes before and i had been hugging her and telling her the same thing then.
so, from here, my memory is much more stable. we get to the hospital and they take me right in. by far the most embarrassing moment (if you don't count the petting with Megan, but i don't remember that so it doesn't really count) is sitting on the bed trying to convince the nurse i wasn't on drugs.
nurse: what pills have you taken this morning?
me: i don't know, i don't remember. but if it was anything it would be my bc and an ibuprofen.
nurse: ok... is there ANYTHING else you could have taken?
me: No.
nurse: look, we're not going to tell the police, but we need to know so we can do our jobs.
me: seriously, i'm not on drugs. i really didn't take anything.
nurse looks me up and down with a doubtful look
aaron: (seeing the nurse look at me) she went to the gym this morning.
at this point i look down and see my gym clothes next to aaron (i was in a lovely hospital gown) and realize what i must look like. my exposed legs had not been shaved for about 2 weeks (totally gross, i know, but it's winter - come on), i had yesterdays make-up smeared on my eyes and my hair was plastered to my head in all sorts of unflattering ways (i'd been wearing a hat all morning, but evidently they made me take it off).
me: i know i look bad, but really, i don't do drugs
aaron: besides, we can't afford 'em.
by now the neurologist has come in and after hearing me tell what happened says he's 99% sure i had what is called Global Transient Amnesia.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/transient-global-amnesia/DS01022
this is where the person looses about 6 hours of their memory. one minute they're fine and the next they have no memory of what they've been doing. there are many symptoms to it - one being a "powerful expression of emotion" (which would explain the hugging and petting of Megan)
after the MRI came back clean (no stroke) the doctor officially diagnosed me with GTA and said i'd be fine. apparently, it's a very rare occurrence and never happens twice.
the doctor said it can happen from a hit to the head, a major trauma or it does come in the form of a migraine. he suspects because i'd been having a lot of headaches as of late that the latter reason was most likely.
i think, due to the timing, it was because of a major trauma. democrats officially taking over - very traumatic indeed...
even though some of my closest friends are democrat.
i even like Obama
My friend, Megan, has posted the experience on her blog for those of you who'd like to hear more of the details from that morning.... from her point of view. (no matter what she says about the whole "petting" incident - i think she liked it) http://3greenwoodgirls.blogspot.com/2009/02/well-that-was-weird.html
It was Inauguration morning. I'm sitting on my couch and i start to not feel very well. i don't know how to describe it, kind of like feeling that something just wasn't right. my head felt really fuzzy, my heart was pounding and i just felt funny inside. it was alarming enough that i had the thought to call aaron and tell him that something was wrong. At this point i looked around the room and realized Noah wasn't there with me. I started calling for him and running around the house looking for him. As i realized he wasn't in the house i started to panic. i tried to think of where he could be or what we had been doing but my mind was... blank. i called aaron in a panic and told him i couldn't find noah. he asked if he was at my friends house (we'll call her "Megan") because i had told him earlier i would be over there. not giving it a second thought, i grabbed reagan and drove over to megans'. (i should note that she lives 4 houses away - but in an emergency, a car seemed faster then walking with a one-year old.)
By now I'm crying and am in a total panic as i knock on Megan's door.
bits of this part are blurry, but i believe the conversation went something like this:
Me: Is Noah here?
Megan: (with a confused look) yes. you just left him here a few minutes ago.
Me: (more confused then Megan and much more scared) what? i just left him here? i was here?
Megan: Brenda, you left here about 15 minutes ago. you spent the morning here.
Me: What?
Megan: I think you should come and sit down.
Apparently, i had spent the past few hours of that morning with Megan and her girls and had left to change Reagans diaper. I left Noah there to play. But, I have no memory of that morning. i have no memory of being at Megan's house or talking with her girls. the morning was completely gone from my memory. at some point i do remember my father-in-law showing up to take the kids and shortly after Aaron came. I vaguely remember sitting by Megan on her couch (she claims there was some petting of her hair going on... i guess i should be grateful it stopped there)
the last memory i have at her house is standing by the door while aaron is saying something about an insta-care. while he's talking her oldest daughter walks in the room and i remember hugging her and telling her how good it was to see her. at this point aaron says he's going to take me to the hospital - evidently she had been in the room a few minutes before and i had been hugging her and telling her the same thing then.
so, from here, my memory is much more stable. we get to the hospital and they take me right in. by far the most embarrassing moment (if you don't count the petting with Megan, but i don't remember that so it doesn't really count) is sitting on the bed trying to convince the nurse i wasn't on drugs.
nurse: what pills have you taken this morning?
me: i don't know, i don't remember. but if it was anything it would be my bc and an ibuprofen.
nurse: ok... is there ANYTHING else you could have taken?
me: No.
nurse: look, we're not going to tell the police, but we need to know so we can do our jobs.
me: seriously, i'm not on drugs. i really didn't take anything.
nurse looks me up and down with a doubtful look
aaron: (seeing the nurse look at me) she went to the gym this morning.
at this point i look down and see my gym clothes next to aaron (i was in a lovely hospital gown) and realize what i must look like. my exposed legs had not been shaved for about 2 weeks (totally gross, i know, but it's winter - come on), i had yesterdays make-up smeared on my eyes and my hair was plastered to my head in all sorts of unflattering ways (i'd been wearing a hat all morning, but evidently they made me take it off).
me: i know i look bad, but really, i don't do drugs
aaron: besides, we can't afford 'em.
by now the neurologist has come in and after hearing me tell what happened says he's 99% sure i had what is called Global Transient Amnesia.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/transient-global-amnesia/DS01022
this is where the person looses about 6 hours of their memory. one minute they're fine and the next they have no memory of what they've been doing. there are many symptoms to it - one being a "powerful expression of emotion" (which would explain the hugging and petting of Megan)
after the MRI came back clean (no stroke) the doctor officially diagnosed me with GTA and said i'd be fine. apparently, it's a very rare occurrence and never happens twice.
the doctor said it can happen from a hit to the head, a major trauma or it does come in the form of a migraine. he suspects because i'd been having a lot of headaches as of late that the latter reason was most likely.
i think, due to the timing, it was because of a major trauma. democrats officially taking over - very traumatic indeed...
even though some of my closest friends are democrat.
i even like Obama
My friend, Megan, has posted the experience on her blog for those of you who'd like to hear more of the details from that morning.... from her point of view. (no matter what she says about the whole "petting" incident - i think she liked it) http://3greenwoodgirls.blogspot.com/2009/02/well-that-was-weird.html
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
perfectly good reasons
i know it seems crazy, but i have good reasons.
being the neurotic mother that i am, which is something i've never denied, i felt it was necessary to get noah his own cell phone.
(pausing while most of you roll your eyes and the rest of you verbally mock me. go ahead, get it all out of your system)
ok then, when noah started 1st grade we let him walk home with some of his friends. it's just under 1/2 a mile and in a safe neighborhood. for me to follow him home from a distance would not have gone over well with these very independent children. but the crazy thoughts that ran through my head while he was walking home were bordering obnoxious - even for me. too often they would be 5-10 minutes late getting home, for various reasons: stopping to tie shoes and becoming distracted with a line of ants, arguing about who's in charge of the group and being unable to walk and argue at the same time - or simply sitting down half-way home to take a break. whatever the reason - i decided i couldn't handle wondering what was going on when they were running behind.
so, i convinced aaron the best solution was to get noah a glorified walkie-talkie... aka: a cell phone. to my credit - i did look into the kind that just has four programmable buttons, but it was cheaper to just add a line to our cell phone plan. to say the least, noah loved the idea of having his own phone. shockingly - it went straight to his head. i pulled up one day after school to find Emma (his carpool buddy) holding his backpack for him. i asked him what was going on and his response was "i have a cell phone now and i need to have my hands free to answer it".
yeah - that didn't go over well. thankfully, noah now understands two important things - 1. he does not have girls carry his back pack. 2. the phone does not come out of the back pack unless there's an emergency. sad noah. grateful emma.
as for reagan getting a cell phone when she turns 6... definitely. along with some mace, a panic button of some sorts and maybe even a taser gun for good measure. aaron has already ordered his night vision goggles for when she starts to date.
being the neurotic mother that i am, which is something i've never denied, i felt it was necessary to get noah his own cell phone.
(pausing while most of you roll your eyes and the rest of you verbally mock me. go ahead, get it all out of your system)
ok then, when noah started 1st grade we let him walk home with some of his friends. it's just under 1/2 a mile and in a safe neighborhood. for me to follow him home from a distance would not have gone over well with these very independent children. but the crazy thoughts that ran through my head while he was walking home were bordering obnoxious - even for me. too often they would be 5-10 minutes late getting home, for various reasons: stopping to tie shoes and becoming distracted with a line of ants, arguing about who's in charge of the group and being unable to walk and argue at the same time - or simply sitting down half-way home to take a break. whatever the reason - i decided i couldn't handle wondering what was going on when they were running behind.
so, i convinced aaron the best solution was to get noah a glorified walkie-talkie... aka: a cell phone. to my credit - i did look into the kind that just has four programmable buttons, but it was cheaper to just add a line to our cell phone plan. to say the least, noah loved the idea of having his own phone. shockingly - it went straight to his head. i pulled up one day after school to find Emma (his carpool buddy) holding his backpack for him. i asked him what was going on and his response was "i have a cell phone now and i need to have my hands free to answer it".
yeah - that didn't go over well. thankfully, noah now understands two important things - 1. he does not have girls carry his back pack. 2. the phone does not come out of the back pack unless there's an emergency. sad noah. grateful emma.
as for reagan getting a cell phone when she turns 6... definitely. along with some mace, a panic button of some sorts and maybe even a taser gun for good measure. aaron has already ordered his night vision goggles for when she starts to date.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Christmas
i know this is about 4 weeks late - but i figured it's better late then never.
Christmas morning started out beautiful. Aaron was able to get these shots early that morning of the sun coming up outside our window. we really do live in a beautiful place.
As far as presents, Christmas was pretty small this year - more like a couple of small presents and one big family present. Noah wanted a wii for Christmas. we told him if he saved $100 of his own money we'd pay the rest and get him one for Christmas.
throughout the year, to help him be responsible, we'd find ways for him to yearn money through chores and helping with Reagan. Aaron's parents helped him earn money by paying him for just being so cute. - oh, yes, he learned a lot of responsibility that way. :) actually, they did pay him $25 for not drinking soda for two months. i didn't think he drank that much to begin with, as we rarely have his kind of soda in the house, but he was happy and was able to earn the rest of his $100.
so, for Christmas, Reagan got new blocks from Santa....
a new doll from us....
Noah a new lightsaber from Santa....
and he LOVES his new wii....
Overall, it was the perfect day. We spent time with family and with each other. I feel incredibly blessed to have such perfect, sweet children. They make me laugh more than they make me cry. :) I wouldn't want my life any other way.
Christmas morning started out beautiful. Aaron was able to get these shots early that morning of the sun coming up outside our window. we really do live in a beautiful place.
As far as presents, Christmas was pretty small this year - more like a couple of small presents and one big family present. Noah wanted a wii for Christmas. we told him if he saved $100 of his own money we'd pay the rest and get him one for Christmas.
throughout the year, to help him be responsible, we'd find ways for him to yearn money through chores and helping with Reagan. Aaron's parents helped him earn money by paying him for just being so cute. - oh, yes, he learned a lot of responsibility that way. :) actually, they did pay him $25 for not drinking soda for two months. i didn't think he drank that much to begin with, as we rarely have his kind of soda in the house, but he was happy and was able to earn the rest of his $100.
so, for Christmas, Reagan got new blocks from Santa....
a new doll from us....
Noah a new lightsaber from Santa....
and he LOVES his new wii....
Overall, it was the perfect day. We spent time with family and with each other. I feel incredibly blessed to have such perfect, sweet children. They make me laugh more than they make me cry. :) I wouldn't want my life any other way.
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