a valentine from Noah

In Noah's Sunday school class they got to make a valentine to anyone they wanted.

Here's Noah's.

 

i've created a monster

wow. i debated on writing all of this down - mostly because just reading about it will never do the moment justice... there's something about hearing exasperation in an octave-higher-than-normal voice from a 7-year old.


The other night, after a very long day, noah had pushed us to our limits. a lot of whining about homework, cleaning his room, having to take a shower, etc., etc. made us very ready for him to get to bed. At one point we had snapped at him for dragging his feet in getting to the bathroom and brushing his teeth. (why is it impossible for a 7-year old to brush his teeth well? seriously, how can he go brush his teeth and still have food in them? it drives me crazy!) anyway - after about 20 seconds him comes walking into the kitchen asking aaron a question - while brushing his teeth. that was aaron's last straw.


aaron: (in a rather loud voice) NOAH! get your butt into that bathroom RIGHT now and start brushing your teeth!!!

noah went totally still as he looked at aaron and then he took the toothbrush out of his mouth and in this exasperated high voice says: IS THIS IT? IS THIS MY CHILDHOOD??? (pause) is this my childhood where my dad is just going to yell at me all the time????? (now he's staring at aaron waiting for an answer)

aaron - trying with all his might to not start laughing, turns around.

noah: is it dad? is this what my childhood is like?

aaron: no, noah. your childhood is not with your dad yelling at you all the time.

noah: good. (pause) then you should say you're sorry.

aaron: (still trying not to laugh, feels it's best to just end the conversation) i'm sorry noah.

And noah goes to bed happy, with comforts of knowing his childhood will not be scarred for life.



One would think it ends there.... but oh, no. not with noah. the next day, after school noah decides to come up with a punishment chart for the family because we "fight and yell too much".

my favorite is #4 - Getting mad at someone when no one did anything = no breakfast



to finish this post - let me end with tonight's conversation. noah couldn't find his coat and got really mad because it wasn't hung up on his door where he'd put it. instead of asking where it was he began yelling about someone moving it. (i was tempted to ask him if this is what my parenthood was going to be like - him always yelling at me. but, then i remembered it's best not to stoop to their level when you're trying to maintain control.) Aaron immediately put noah on his bed for yelling and that led to quite the meltdown. once noah was calmer, i had a big talk with him and told him that even when we're angry, we can still be respectful. his reasoning was that he would never have had to get mad if we would have left his coat alone and so it was our fault. i then went on to tell him that things will happen in life at home, school, work, etc. and we'll feel angry, but we still need to stay calm and respectful. eventually he said he understood and that was that.


fast forward 2 hours. noah comes out from brushing his teeth to tell me there's a problem. he spilled the whole bottle of mouthwash on the floor. (this is the second time this has happened in the last week). completely irritated, i headed to the bathroom.

me: noah, i'm getting tired of you playing around in the bathroom and knocking things over!

noah: i'm sorry mom, it was an accident.

me: i know -that's what you said the last time - but you NEED to be more careful. now get in your room and go to bed while I clean up YOUR mess. (i know i should let him clean it up, but it's this blue stuff and i didn't want it to stain - part of why i was so impatient with him)

while i'm cleaning up the floor, i look into noah's room and see him on his bed praying.
(for the love!) after a minute, i hear him behind me.

noah: (in this totally calm, quiet voice) mom, i know you're upset - and that's ok. sometimes bad things happen, but you can still handle it in a calm way. I think Heavenly Father would want you to be calm and patient even when you're angry. I think you should think about that for a minute and see if you can handle this situation better.

honestly - i have created a monster.

poor, poor, confused aaron

i recognize the absolute obnoxiousness of this post... but it had to be done. Aaron is under some delusional understanding that he is still blonde. I blame his mother. aaron describes himself as having blonde hair and she only encourages the thought. The other night they were mocking me because i was telling them aaron's hair is brown.

i recognize that it may have been blonde when he was four, and then a dirty blonde in his teens - but it's definitely brown now... dark brown in the back.

Anyway - as i was mocked mercilessly for calling it brown - i decided to put it to a vote. an unbiased, third-party vote. I've included a couple of pictures, so it can't be blamed on "lighting" and then i've included a polling gadget to the right.

i figure if i can let go of the fact that i'll never ever in a million years be a size 4 again, i figure aaron can come to terms with the fact he'll never be a natural blonde again. dang life's hard.

it's been awhile....

It has been a long four months. I actually got on my computer a few days ago and wrote a long post with all my updates, but the next morning when i went to add pictures, it was gone. i have no idea what happened. i have some time today and thought i'd attempt to catch you up -again.

First... Christmas. it was the smallest Christmas we've had, but by far my favorite. funny how that works. As you know, instead of buying presents we did service. (however, Santa is never unemployed, so he did make an appearance. albeit, a small one.) Christmas morning noah woke us up, with all the energy of 20 children put together waited anxiously for reagan to wake up so he could see what Santa brought. Once she was awake, we him wait a few minutes more while we checked to see if Santa had really come. reagan wasn't as excited about what was awaiting for her, but more just feeding off of noah's energy. he has a lot of energy. Once we were ready, they ran into the living room and started opening presents from Santa. Noah got a bumble bee transformer helmet and hand gun and reagan got her first real doll and a little doll bed.

Noah was excited enough about his transformers stuff that he didn't notice there were no other presents to open, which was a relief to us as we were worried he might be upset.

I have no idea why i don't have a picture of reagan with her doll from Christmas morning, so here's a picture of her with the doll from today. depending on what day it is (no rhyme or reason) the dolls' name is either Macie or Sally.

 

After they opened their two presents from Santa, we pulled out the service jar from under the tree and sat in the middle of the room taking turns reading the slips. as each slip was put in secretly, we had no idea what would be on them as we pulled them out. There were at least 20 of them that said "i made noah's bed for him today". between aaron and i, i don't think noah made his bed once the entire month. (January was a rude awakening. it really sucks having to make your own bed when you're seven.) there were other ones that said things like, "i helped mom with reagan" or "i let aaron have the last cookie" or "i let brenda sleep in today", stuff like that. We also started writing down things that others did for us and how that made us feel. In the end, i think my favorite slip was one that noah had put in that said, "I was nice to a bully at school today". how perfectly sweet is that? As Hallmark card as it may sound - it really was the best Christmas. we spent about an hour going over each slip and laughing and sharing stories as we read them. we had such a great time that when it was done and we were cleaning up - no one really noticed that there weren't actual presents to open. i think that in the future, when there will be presents under the tree, we'll always do our service jar.

A few days after Christmas was the anniversary of my dad passing away. one of the things I've really struggled with during this trial is not having my dad here. I wrote in a letter a few weeks ago that for a girl, during a really hard time in life, there's nothing like having your dad tell you that everything will be ok. There's just something about having a father's comfort when times are hard. the anniversary of his death is usually a very hard day for me. I feel angry and sad and lonely. with all that was going on, i knew that day would be an extra tough one for me this year. But then, through some events that could only come from the love and tenderness my Heavenly Father has for me, I was able to wake up that morning with a sense of peace I haven't felt in four years. that morning i only felt the love that my dad has for me and i knew that if he could, he'd wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything would be ok. Oh, how i love and miss my dad.

This is a picture from the last time i was able to see him. i know it's not a very good one of him, as it was towards the end of his illness, but it's my favorite one. Because no matter how sick he was, or how much pain he was in, he would put on a brave face and smile.

ok - i'm going to move on as i need to stop crying.

January... our big event in January was our trip to the Dew Tour. (the Dew Tour is sponsored by Mountain Dew and is a contest for snow boarders and skiers) Aaron entered a contest for a VIP trip to the Tour about six or seven months ago. He didn't win. however, two days before the Tour, the winner had to cancel - so they drew another name and this time it was Aaron's. The package included free hotel, breakfast, VIP lounge and VIP seating to watch the competitions. As it was at the resorts in Ogden, it was a short drive for us. It really couldn't have been better timing with the stress we'd been feeling with aaron's unemployment and the fact that the trip was completely free was perfect. Here are a few pictures from our grand adventure...

Now - for the final update. This morning aaron accepted a job offer. That's right - aaron got a job!!!!!!!!!!!! frankly, i'm surprised you all didn't hear me screaming this morning as it finally sunk in. The job is in D.C. and is in public relations, which is perfect for Aaron. (lets hope that in this case it's 'second time's the charm' because i don't have the mental or emotional capacity to do this again.)
Noah was really upset about the prospects of moving when we first told him. he cried and cried. While he was crying we were trying to tell him all the fun things he'd be able to do there, etc. but nothing worked. Only when we told him we'd take him to New Jersey to see Buddy at Carlo's Bakery (he loves watching The Cake Boss and it's located in NJ) did he completely stop crying and say, "oh, ok. i guess we can move then." for the love.

Well, there you go. it's been a long hard four months, but it seems to have come to a close and we couldn't have done it without all the love and support from friends and family. i love you all!

Checking out the Christmas lights

Last night we went down to temple square to see the Christmas lights. They're pretty amazing, but so freakin' cold we don't go very often. This was the first time I'd been in about 5 years. The last time was the year before my dad passed away. This year they had a nativity spread out over a larger area, with Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus on the water. And their big nativity with narration is in a separate area. Noah and Reagan had a great time running around. Reagan kept yelling "ooohhh, lights!", "Polar bear!!!" (don't ask. we have no idea why she calls some lights 'polar bear'.) and "Merry Christmas". Noah was happy for about 15 minutes and then he was ready to go get the hot chocolate we'd promised him we'd get on the way home. Like father like son.


here's Reagan and Noah. Reagan so thrilled we made her sit still for a picture.

here's all of us, Reagan wondering why she is still sitting there.

Here is the nativity with baby Jesus on the water. It was actually very cool. I'd make some comment about His ability to walk on water at such a young age, but that may be pushing the sacrilegious line too far. still - loved the picture.

Reagan loved this nativity, so i tried to catch in on video. sorry the lighting's so bad.

Aaron and Noah were champs waiting around while Reagan took her sweet ol' time going from one thing to another. I think it was the promise of hot chocolate AND a cookie that helped keep them happy.

Here's a shot of the other nativity. It's come a long way since I saw it five years ago.

This is my favorite picture. Reagan was on Aaron's shoulders, listening to the narration of Jesus' birth, with the Salt Lake temple in the background.

This Christmas will be different from any we've had in the past, as far as presents are concerned, but the spirit of Christmas is stronger than ever. Instead of giving presents, we've given service. We thought it would be a good experience for Noah, and us, to have a month where we tried to think of others more than ourselves. We never imagined the kind of love and support that others would show us. So many people have gone out of their way to serve and help where they can. Someone brought over a meal, another paid for Noah's tuition for the play he was in, someone else gave us a gift card to the grocery store and others have sent money to help where it's needed. Many of these things were done anonymously, leaving us no way to thank them. it has been an overwhelming and very humbling experience.

This difficult time will come and go. Eventually Aaron will have a job and the stress this has brought will be gone. But the love and support we've been shown will stay with us forever. Thank you to all of you who have been there for us, near and far. We love you all.

Merry Christmas.

The Wizard of Oz

Noah was in his school play, The Wizard of Oz. I must say (and this has nothing to do with the fact that he was in the play) it was one of the cutest performances I've seen grade school kids do. You're lucky my camcorder broke or you'd be watching the whole show. Instead, I've put up a few pictures from throughout the play and ended with a video of his main Tinman scene. It's not the best video, as it was taken with our camera, but it gives you an idea of how freakin' cute he was.

honestly - how can you not just love this kid??

school pictures

A few weeks ago, Noah had his school pictures taken. I meant to write after we got the picture back because it was so funny, but then life got crazy and yadda, yadda, yadda.

I was talking to a friend and we were saying how it's way cheaper to just go take a bunch of pictures yourself at the park - and they'd turn out way better - but there's something about the school picture you just have to have.


Kindergarten is usually ok. you know you're supposed to smile and it still comes fairly naturally.

By first grade, you still love being there, but it's hard to smile when you're trying to figure out what exactly went wrong with this years haircut.

By second grade - you give up on the hair because the permanent teeth have come in full force and all you can say is "it is what it is. own it. love it."

By the time I hit sixth grade I figured it out. If I squinted just barely and had a slight smile, nothing too big - just a hint, then I could look just like Marilyn Monroe...

As you can see - it totally worked

As for Noah - his pictures I can't help but love. His kindergarten picture was going to be PERFECT! he'd lost his two front teeth just weeks before, so his smile was all about showing the missing teeth. you couldn't help but smile when you saw it. That morning I had his hair done, his clothes were clean and matched and when he smiled it was so freakin' cute. I couldn't wait for pictures to come back. Later that day when Noah got home from school I checked him out. Hair still looked good, clothes weren't stained - it was clear picture day was a success. I asked him how it went and if the photographer was nice, etc. he said it went great and he had a lot of fun. I then asked him to show me the smile he did for the camera. Instead of showing me his big smile with those darling missing teeth, he said, "Mom, I decided to try a new smile today."

two weeks later, we got his pictures back...

His First grade picture was all about the hair, because the smile was going through that if-i-concentrate-hard-enough-i-know-i-can-smile stage.

His most recent picture - Second grade - was darling. His hair was back to normal, his shirt looked great and his smile was one of my favorites.

when he came home with this one, Aaron's mom and my mom were both at my house. Aaron's mom asked him what the photographer did to make him smile so big. Noah said, "he didn't do anything. when i sat down, i just did what my mom told me to do. i pictured the photographer in his underwear"

(in my defense, I don't actually remember telling him that, but then again, I wouldn't put it past me)

a special night

A few years ago I was going through my cedar chest (which was my grandma's and eventually handed down to me) and found a tiny baby dress. It was clear this was a very old handmade dress with little needle point flowers and crocheted edging on the bottom. After a little research I found out it was my mother's dress when she was a baby, made by my great-grandmother about 70 years ago.

Wanting to preserve it, I talked to my friend, Emily, and asked her if she thought this was something she could shadow box. Within a couple of months she had a friend of hers fix some tears in the dress and had it dry cleaned so it was now smooth and wrinkle free. We spent some time picking out the wood to frame it in and the matting for the background. There was some really cool wood, but I figured Aaron would kill me if I spent $500 on framing one dress. So Emily did a lot of searching and found the perfect wood for this dress. I was pretty excited about preserving this family heirloom and being able to put it in Reagan's room.

A week after we made all the final decisions for the shadow box Aaron lost his job. I called Emily to let her know I'd have to put off the framing until Aaron found something else. I just couldn't justify the cost when we were trying to figure out how many months we could survive without work. I was really worried she had already spent the money to get the supplies and I wouldn't be able to pay her for them. When I told her what was going on the first words were that this is the last thing I should be worrying about and for me to not give it a second thought. She then spent the rest of the call comforting me and making sure I was ok and wanting to know what she could do to help.

It is now two weeks later and a few hours ago Emily showed up. She had finished the dress and wanted me to have it, regardless of the fact that I have no way to pay her. She said it meant a lot to her that I have it up on my wall where I could see it any time I wanted. Words can't express what this has meant to me.

Emily does framing out of her home and has three young girls, for her to take time out of her already busy schedule and time from her framing jobs that pay, to complete a job for me, is pretty exceptional. It was a beautiful gift and one that I now treasure all the more.

 

If there's one thing I have learned in the last couple of weeks is that when things go bad... I mean really bad... people come out of the woodwork to help and support in any way they can. We've had so many calls from friends and family telling us to hang in there and how much they love us. So many people have called and e-mailed Aaron with ideas of where he could find work and who's currently hiring. Friends have called to have Noah over just to give us a break. They say it's so Noah can play, but I know it's more for me than him. While it's been unbelievably scary to not have a job and not know how long you can survive without one, it's been amazing to see how friends and family step in when you need them the most. I can't thank you all enough for the love and support that has been shown us these past few weeks.

I love you all.

If anyone can make me laugh... it's Noah

no matter how bad life has become, Noah still makes us laugh. Here are a few examples of things he has said over the last few weeks.


1. Noah and I have a plate of cookies we were taking to leave on a neighbors doorstep. As I was in a hurry I told him to just throw on a pair of shoes that he wouldn't have to tie. He walks out of his room in his huge snow shoes. As we're walking out to the car I'm explaining to him how when we pull up to the house, he'll get out and take the cookies to the door. Once he sets them down, he'll ring the door bell and then run as fast as he can back to the truck. Noah, without even pausing, says, "Mom, how in the hell am I supposed to run in these boots?"

(seeing how he had served quite the sentence for calling his friend 'duck head', which i thought he had said, 'dick head', i felt i would let this one slide.)



2. A few weeks ago Aaron was in D.C. starting his new job and I was here with the kids trying to sell the house. Keeping it realtor ready with my two kids is not an easy task. I'm afraid I got a little crazy trying to keep it constantly clean. After a realtor tour I had many comments that the back yard needed to be raked up. It doesn't look like much work, but it's really quite the project. we have scrub oaks and the roots create all these little shoots that can't be pulled, but have to be individually cut. so, besides raking, there are thousands of shoots that have to be cut to get rid of the ghetto look. After 4 hours of working out there I realized there was no way I was going to get it done in time for a showing, so I called my sister-in-law and asked her if I could hire my nephews to come and help. At one point, me being me, I started to cry on the phone - with Aaron being gone and me tyring to keep the children alive and the house clean, i was feeling a bit overwhelmed. When I got off the phone, Noah came around the corner, gave me a big hug and says with the most sincere I'm-here-for-you voice, "Mom, I need to finish watching my show and then I'm going to play the wii, and then I'll need some dinner and then I'll watch one more show and then (he takes a big breath and gives me the sweetest smile) I'm going to clear my schedule and help you rake."


3- The other night it was way past Noah's bed time and he is doing everything he can to stay up later. One more trip to the bathroom, one more drink of water, one more confession of going to think time at school, on and on and on. We're starting to lose our patience and have told Noah to get to bed or else. He thinks for a moment and walks over to aaron.

Noah: (puts his head on Aaron's shoulder) Dad, will you please come and tell me a story about one of the prophets of old before i go to sleep?

Aaron: No. I've already told you it's time to go to bed and I need to work on the computer tonight. i'll tell you stories tomorrow.

Noah: Dad, Don't you think that sharing the gospel with your son is more important than working on the computer?

(that's noah's new thing lately - "mom, don't you think playing with your son is more important than doing dishes?" "mom, don't you think it's more important to cuddle your son in the morning than making him clean his room before school?"
he's quite the manipulator for so young)


4- To preface this next conversation, it's best to bring everyone up to speed. Three weeks ago Aaron was offered a new job in D.C. which we were very excited about. Aaron flew out and I stayed behind to sell the house. On his eighth day of the job, Aaron was told that the company had decided he wasn't the guy they wanted and let him go. This, obviously, has been quite a devastating shock to us. His old job had already filled his position and he was now across the country without his family and no employment. They offered him no severance package, which has left us in a bit of a bind. Unfortunately, we had just shipped Aaron's car there, so I flew out and we drove the car back together as we made a game plan for the next coming months as Aaron begins job hunting.
I was going to post about this when it happened a couple of weeks ago, but my first draft was way too depressing, my second draft was a tad bit too angry for a family-friendly blog, so I'm going to have to wait until I can look back and laugh at all this madness before I can dedicate any specific post.
Anyway - last night we were driving home from seeing grandpa and Noah started asking why we couldn't go out to dinner and how it had been SOOO LONG since we'd been out to eat. We tried to explain that while daddy was getting a new job we were going to be really careful with money and not eat out a lot. Noah didn't quite understand.

Noah: so, we don't get to go out to eat tonight.

Aaron: No, not tonight.

Noah: When do we get to go out?

Me: Not for awhile, babe. When daddy gets a new job we'll go out somewhere fun to celebrate.

Noah: so... we can't go out to eat until then???

Aaron: that's right.

Noah: well (so matter-of-factly) why doesn't dad just get a job at Quiznos?

(aaron and i just look at each other)

Aaron: um, that's not exactly what i was planning.

Noah: then how about MetLife or Texaco?

(we realize that Noah is just naming off stores we're passing on the road)

Aaron: Noah, I'm looking for jobs that I can do specific things with. I promise, I'll find a job soon.

Noah: And we can't go out to eat until then and you can't buy me toys or take me to fun places?

Aaron: (tyring to stay patient) Noah, until i have a job we're not spending money if we don't have to.

Noah: (with such horror in his voice) ARE WE POOR???

(it took us a few seconds to respond because we were trying no to laugh at the utter horror and exasperation in his voice)

Me: No, we're not poor, we're just being careful with are money.

Noah: poor people don't have money and they can't go out. so, we're poor - aren't we?

Aaron: Instead of saying poor, lets just say we're being financially careful.

Noah: seriously, does that mean we're poor?

Me: (now i'm just trying to end the conversation before we start laughing and really upset him) yes, noah, we're poor.

Noah: I knew it! I knew we were poor!

Aaron's worried that not being in the car with us, this conversation may seem sad and depressing. You have to understand, that how it came about, Noah's ideas of employment and his tone of voice at the end was so funny. It's the first time Aaron and I have really laughed since getting home. Maybe we really are losing it. I figure it's better to laugh than cry.

weight loss "points" diet

I know a few people who have gone on diets involving a 'point' system. They're allotted so many 'points' per day. (For example any diet drink is 0 points where an 8 oz steak for dinner is 8 points.) It's worked for many of them, so I was thinking about giving it a try.

Once I looked into it, I realized the amount of points I would be allotted each day did not seem fair. The points they allotted were based on gender, age, weight, exercise, etc. There were no points allotted if you were married or had kids. no points allotted if you thought about going to the gym. positive thinking should definitely count towards something. So I decided to create my own weight loss point system. I'm feeling pretty good about it.


Give yourself points for the following:

Step 1 - gender:

Female: 12 points (emotions burn a lot of calories. women are very emotional)

Male: -5 points (because if a man gains 15 pounds - no one notices)

Nursing: 22 points (When you can relate to a cow - you always get 10 extra points)


Step 2 - age:

17 to 26: 0 points (please, life's still easy.)

27 to 37: 5 points (turning 30 can be hard, you need the comfort food)

38 to 47: 7 points (when you turn 40, the 30 year olds seem so young and that's
depressing)

48 to 57: 9 point (you burn more calories when recovering from plastic surgery)

58 and over: 10 points (turning 60 is freaking awesome. you're in your prime and
you need the extra points to celebrate)

Add the points from the above steps.


Step 3 - No need to weigh yourself as that could cause negative feelings which causes emotional eating. Instead, take your best guess. From there take the first two numbers and add and an extra 10 points as a reward for even trying. (For example, if you weigh 140, you would take 14 and add 10 points.)


Step 4 - Determine the amount of exercise you engage in each day. This does not only refer to exercising in a gym. (If you work out add 15 points. If you think about working out add 5 points for positive thinking) The amount of time and energy women spend beating themselves up, wishing they were better at this or that, being patient when there's no patients left, cooking food when you'd rather crawl into bed, smiling at your husband when he asks, "what have you been doing all day?", etc., these all take quite a bit of energy and work. To determine the amount of "exercising" points you're allotted, feel free to use the following examples:


If you're a woman and married: 10 points

If you're a woman, married and have children: 20 points

If you're a woman, married, and all your children are under the age of 10: 30 points

If you're a woman, married, have multiple children under the age of 10 and are able to keep them fed at least once a day and bathed twice a week : 40 points

If you're a woman, married, have multiple children under the age of 10 and have done the following in the past 6 months: got out of bed when you're tired, cooked dinner when you're sick of cooking, smiled at your husband instead of throwing something at him, answered your child's same question 10 times in a row without raising your voice, gone grocery shopping with two or more screaming children, gave up a girls night out because your family needed you and never once sat on your closet floor in the fetal position: forget the points. You can eat whatever you want.