not to bore you with all the details, but i decided to try out a new recipe the other night. needless to say - it was out of control. i made a HUGE mess in the process. i could have had Noah's kindergarten class come and cook a meal in my kitchen and they would have been cleaner then i was - seriously, out of control. And can i just say - cookbooks should be much more specific on "prep time". This recipe said the prep time was 15 minutes. When in reality it should say something more like this:
1- You have no children and Julia Childs is a distance relative. prep time: 15 minutes
2- You are a mother with children under the age of 6, and your meals usually come from a box in the freezer. prep time: 1 hour 15 minutes
*If your children are under the age of 2, add an additional 30 minutes per child.
3- You are a mother with children under the age of 6, you're PMSing, and you just exposed your 6-year-old to another four letter word. prep time: Forget cooking. Order a pizza
If recipes gave you these kinds of prep times, my dinner wouldn't have been a complete disaster because we would have ordered pizza. A lot of pizza.
Thankfully tonight's dinner went much better. Actually, tonight went fairly well, if you don't count Aaron's near death experience. I say near death, because he clearly forgot during the 9 months of my pregnancy what a woman can be like during those 3 days of PMSing. Frankly, he's lucky to be alive.
Tonights conversation when he walked in the door from work:
Aaron: So, tell me all about your day.
(which is code for: What have you been doing all day, this house is trashed.)
Brenda: I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?
(which is code for: Really? You really just went there? At this point you're lucky the house is so messy, because if that couch was cleaned off you'd be sleeping on it.)
Aaron: Um, I was just saying how amazing you are, the kids look great, awesome job keeping everyone alive. And I love what you've done with your hair, you can't even tell you didn't shower today. Why don't you take the night off and let me cook dinner.
(which is code for: Please don't make me sleep on the couch)
Anyway, all ended well. I got to watch last nights episode of American Idol while Aaron put the kids to bed. And he got to learn a great lesson tonight: All husbands should check to make sure the couch is a mess, before starting any conversation with their wife, at the end of the day.
1- You have no children and Julia Childs is a distance relative. prep time: 15 minutes
2- You are a mother with children under the age of 6, and your meals usually come from a box in the freezer. prep time: 1 hour 15 minutes
*If your children are under the age of 2, add an additional 30 minutes per child.
3- You are a mother with children under the age of 6, you're PMSing, and you just exposed your 6-year-old to another four letter word. prep time: Forget cooking. Order a pizza
If recipes gave you these kinds of prep times, my dinner wouldn't have been a complete disaster because we would have ordered pizza. A lot of pizza.
Thankfully tonight's dinner went much better. Actually, tonight went fairly well, if you don't count Aaron's near death experience. I say near death, because he clearly forgot during the 9 months of my pregnancy what a woman can be like during those 3 days of PMSing. Frankly, he's lucky to be alive.
Tonights conversation when he walked in the door from work:
Aaron: So, tell me all about your day.
(which is code for: What have you been doing all day, this house is trashed.)
Brenda: I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?
(which is code for: Really? You really just went there? At this point you're lucky the house is so messy, because if that couch was cleaned off you'd be sleeping on it.)
Aaron: Um, I was just saying how amazing you are, the kids look great, awesome job keeping everyone alive. And I love what you've done with your hair, you can't even tell you didn't shower today. Why don't you take the night off and let me cook dinner.
(which is code for: Please don't make me sleep on the couch)
Anyway, all ended well. I got to watch last nights episode of American Idol while Aaron put the kids to bed. And he got to learn a great lesson tonight: All husbands should check to make sure the couch is a mess, before starting any conversation with their wife, at the end of the day.
6 comments:
Brenda! You have me on the floor laughing so hard I can't breathe and am coughing! (Still getting over a cold) I've got to go get my inhaler now. I am so glad that I'm not the only one who has days like this. I love the blog! Keep it up and call me tomorrow when you can. Love ya,
Sara
Your hilarious! And I have full confidence that you will do a better job of keeping up the blog than Aaron. Besides, and I love Aaron, I am more interested in your life with kids than his life in China, but only because I relate better with the first.
Welcome to the Blogger's Club! Come visit the SF Beans anytime...beansanyone.blogspot.
Sounds like you are commenting on my life. I love it! You just need to add a few "Get off the table", "mom and dad are trying to talk" and "put your clothes back on" in your conversation. Welcome to blogging! You will get addicted! Check out ours beanboysandme.blogspot.com
Welcome to the world of blogging - glad you got sucked in :) Now I can properly stock, I mean keep in touch with you!!
That was hilarious!
http://topolfamily.blogspot.com
Hooray! You actually have a blog now! I feel like I'm in better contact with you already. :) I'm so glad you've embarked on the joys of mothering two, and the struggles of mothering two...I can't imagine how my mother did six! Somehow it all works out right? Someone please tell me it does!
Brenda, I really do love you. Why can't you come back here so that when I need a good laugh I can come and visit you. This is just not fair! The West coast can't appreciate you as much as I would. Great post.
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