so why aren't the rolls on my thighs (and everywhere else) and my double chin adorable? I'm fairly certain i would get weird looks if my friends came over to find me in just a onsie. it's very one sided.
if you really think about it... doctors (with kids) only care that their "curve" is consistent on their weight chart. So even though Noah was only in the 20th percentile for weight - it didn't matter... as long as he was always in the 20th percentile with every check-up. Reagan is in the 95th percentile for weight - but that's not a problem as long as with each check-up she's not going up or down, she's always in the 95th percentile range..so her 'curve' is consistent. Well - when i go to the doctor, why can't he say, "You're doing great, Brenda! Still 30 pounds overweight, just like last month and the month before. keep up the good work!"
And while we're on the matter of being overweight - i would like to stress the importance of having a good sponsor. Alcoholics or drug addicts have sponsors so when they're in a tough situation and they're feeling weak, they can call their sponsor and have the support they need to get through it.
As for me - i'm going to have to find a new sponsor. Last week I was in Costco (we'll have another post on another day about the trappings of Costco) and there were samples everywhere. I, being sick of the baby weight i'm still lugging around, had decided a few days before that i was going to stop 'snacking' during the day and watch my sweet intake. So, by this time, i had been deprived of sweets for about 48 hours. i was in a bad state of mind, i should have known better then to go to Costco alone. everywhere i turned there was samples of cheesecake, ice cream, something fried in oil (i wasn't even sure what it was, it said 'fried' and that's all i seemed to register), and all sort of delicious snacks. but i was holding strong, until i turned that last corner. There they were... chocolate covered pretzels. something salty and something sweet coming together to form the perfect treat. who could deny such goodness? i started walking towards the bags and then made myself stop as i debated what to do. i knew if i bought the bag - most likely i'd hide them from Aaron and the children and eat them all by myself during the days to come. or i could keep going and live another day 'snack' free.
as i found myself involuntarily inching toward the bags i knew this was too big for me. so i did what all SSA's (sweet snackoholics) do, i called my sponsor. For the purposes of this post, lets call her "Carrie". "Carrie" answered her phone and i explained the problem.
Brenda: I need your help. I'm having a week moment, and as my sponsor you've got to help me.
"Carrie": I'm glad you called - what's going on?
Brenda: I'm at Costco and there's a bag of Chocolate covered pretzels.. not just any chocolate - Hershey's chocolate, the pretzels on the bag actually have chocolate dripping of the pretzels. i swear i can smell the chocolate from here.
"Carrie": oohhh, they sound awesome - you should buy them!
Brenda: "CARRIE!"
"Carrie": oh, right, i'm sorry. No - bad Brenda, don't buy them. think about summer and going to the pool. Think about the baby weight you're getting rid of. Stay strong. you can do it.
Brenda: you're right, i can do this. i can be strong. it's not worth the moment of
blissful chocolate happiness.
"Carrie": that's right... all though they do sound really good... yeah, i'd buy
them.
Can you see why i have to find a new sponsor. Bad "Carrie", Bad "Carrie". We must all remember that in the 'dieting' world - it's good to have a reliable sponsor and it's good to BE a reliable sponsor to those in need.
So - how do you know if you need a sponsor? If you have ever done any of the following:
1- ate the rest of the ice cream for breakfast, went to the store later to replace the ice cream so your husband wouldn't find out. (which of course you have to eat at least half of it so he won't realize it's a new one)
2- ate the rest of the brownies in the pan, but threw away the last one so when your husband asks where the brownies are you can honestly answer "i through them away so they wouldn't tempt me". he was very proud of you. you may have felt slightly guilty, but the lingering brownie goodness left in your teeth helps you feel much better.
3- you find yourself rationalizing... "it said 1/2 the fat, so by eating two with 1/2 the fat, the third had no fat at all.
4- no, it's ok if i eat this mint covered brownie because the mint part is the same as if i had some spearmint gum and the brownie is really just my servings of grain for the day.
5- Strawberry and cream frappuccino's are healthy for you - it's fruit and dairy - really, it's fine!
6- I can have four helpings of dessert because it's a holiday and calories don't count on holiday's.
and lastly...
7- I am a happier woman when i've had my chocolate, and when i'm happy - the husband and children are happy. So really, i don't eat this for me... i eat it for them, because they're happiness is important to me.
Now, for those of you who are sponsors to people like me... some helpful phrases you could use in an emergency are...
"just remember - a moment on the lips - forever on the hips"
"keep saying, 'chocolate bad - tofu good, chocolate bad - tofu good' until the cravings have past"
"You may love that piece of chocolate, but it could never love you back. is that the kind of relationship you really want?"
and if nothing else is working...
"if you can eat that naked, in front of a mirror, then proceed with my blessings"
To my fellow SSA's - i wish you luck and may you find happiness in tofu pudding. to those of you who don't have to diet... i have nothing to say to you, except, may you crave sweets nightly - and may those sweets find a happy home on your thighs.
