i had decided to not write about this... until yesterday when noah got home from school and i figured on some level it was too funny not to tell you.
a few weeks ago the first grade teachers needed volunteers to watch their classes so they could attend a 45 minute meeting. i volunteered for Noah's class. really - how much damage could i do in 45 minutes?
once there, the teacher gave me a list of things to do with the kids while she was gone. give them their math test. fine, no problem. help them correct their tests. again, no problem. (one girl did get emotional because another boy accused her of erasing his answers and writing in wrong ones, but i quickly diffused that situation. this teachings stuff is a piece of cake) next, read them a book. loved it - used all my funny voices - got strange looks from the children. and then use the last 20 minutes to teach them fractions. uh, yeah, slight problem - i could never do fractions. algebra, geometry, trig - awesome, loved it, bring it on. but fractions? i knew we were in trouble. not wanting to sound like a moron to the teacher i just smiled as she told me to draw a pizza on the board and take slices away and write the fractions. then she handed me a worksheet to have them do with lots of samples and lines for them to write the fractions. honestly, how complicated could this be? surely, i could teach this simple fraction writing, right?
yeah, not so much.
after, what i thought, were plenty of pizza's and lots of fractions, i figured we could do the worksheet. without really looking at it first, i handed it out to all the children. within about 20 seconds, 10 hands went up. "Mrs. Walker, Mrs. Walker, I don't get it. How do i do this? What does this mean?" trying not to look nervous i told them i'd get to each of them and to work on the top lines till i got there (just counting pizza slices - not too difficult). unfortunately, as i went to the first student and looked at the rest of the worksheet i was completely lost for words. there were all these pizza's, but not with drawn out pieces missing - just drawn showing how many slices were left. some slices thick and some small so there was no telling how many slices there were to start with. how could i teach them a fraction when i didn't have all the information? for the love. so, i did what any good substitute does and i made it up as i went. after a few students, i'd try a different route in answering the questions, so forth and so on. in the end i probably explained the worksheet in 4 completely different ways. i figured this way at least some of the kids would get it right. at one point, i told them to just write what numbers looked good. have i no shame?
needless to say, when the teacher returned i told her that the kids may need a little more explanation on the worksheet, and left it at that.
now, weeks later, i was going through noah's backpack and found that the teacher had finally corrected the worksheets and sent them home. yes, noah missed every single one and had the note 'please redue and return'. my only hope is that i got at least one of my explanations right and not every student failed.
noah and i sat down, reread the instructions in a much calmer quieter setting and finished the worksheet. sadly enough, when he brought the worksheet back home... he still missed two. however, in my defense, it was only because we had drawn in the wrong number of missing slices. going off our pictures, his fractions were right and so i figures we got an A+. i'm quite proud of it.
so, there you go. now you all know that if noah graduates high school and goes on to college, it will have had nothing to do with my tutoring skills.
may we all wish him, and reagan, the best of luck.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
swimming
here's the post grandma has been waiting for. all pictures of the kids.
this was our first day taking Reagan swimming... first of all - why do little girls always look so adorable in swimsuits? and why is that the chubby, dimply, rolls on their legs always bring smiles and phrases like "oh, look at those legs?? i love it!" No one ever says that to me - it's a very one-sided world.
she was hysterical walking in the water. she would tighten up her fists and squeel while making this face....
eventually, she recovered and before long was in the water trying to be independant once again.
as for Noah - he's like an otter. this boy loves the water and if truth be told - he's a much better swimmer than me. I don't have a lot of pictures of him because he spent most of his time under water swimming or going down the slide. i have no doubt he'd stay all day if we'd let him.
this was our first day taking Reagan swimming... first of all - why do little girls always look so adorable in swimsuits? and why is that the chubby, dimply, rolls on their legs always bring smiles and phrases like "oh, look at those legs?? i love it!" No one ever says that to me - it's a very one-sided world.
she was hysterical walking in the water. she would tighten up her fists and squeel while making this face....
(obviously minus the speghetti, i just wasn't able to capture it going into the water as i was focusing too much on her not slipping at that point)
once in, she seemed to love walking in the water, watching it swirl around her. the best was when she'd start taking these huge slow steps - almost as if she was trying to step up on top of the water instead of just walking through it. i couldn't get the camera to take a decent video of it - so this will have to do...
after she played at the bottom of the slide, she decided she could walk by her self in the water. With grandpa by her side, she made it about 3 steps before she fell. as i'm a totally rational, calm mother i did not freak out like i would have with noah, i camly controlled my desire to scream "MY BABY!!" and instead, seeing that grandpa had already retrieved her up out of the water, i camly put the camera away before i consoled my precious little girl. unfortunately, once in grandpa's arms, there was no getting her back. seriously, she wouldn't leave him - even for me - for about 20 minutes...
eventually, she recovered and before long was in the water trying to be independant once again.
as for Noah - he's like an otter. this boy loves the water and if truth be told - he's a much better swimmer than me. I don't have a lot of pictures of him because he spent most of his time under water swimming or going down the slide. i have no doubt he'd stay all day if we'd let him.
Friday, April 3, 2009
well that was gross
first - to grandma... i have a post with lots of pictures just for you, i only need to proof read it. i'll try to do it tomorrow.
ok... i just had to write about this because it was so disgusting and then kept getting worse. like a really bad movie. (**cough** twilight **cough**)
anyway - we're out to dinner with some friends and the sitter calls to tell me Reagan has thrown up. she seemed pretty upset about it (the sitter) so i told her i'd come home. i left everyone at the restaurant to finish their meal and i ran home to clean up the mess. Once home - Reagan seemed fine. happy, walking around - a little smelly from the throw-up - but overall not really bothered. i figured she must have eaten something that upset her... who knows. once i clean her up i ask the sitter to hang with noah while i run back to the restaurant to pick up aaron and our friends.
Once there, Reagan and I head inside. first, i stop at the register to get cash so i can pay the sitter. with cash in one hand, reagan in the other, i make my way through the restaurant. i'm passing a table of about 10 people when i hear the gurgling and look to see reagan beginning her first projectile... let me repeat, PROJECTILE, vomit. we're talking chunks of rice, chicken, beans and a whole slice of an orange, flying out of her mouth. time seemed to stand still as i see the splatter of throw-up, the shocked faces of the 10 kids (early 20's) who obviously have no children of their own, and back to reagan who has now begun her 2nd projectile vomit. this time Aaron and Gary have heard/seen the mess and are racing over to me, i'm still trying to catch what vomit i can in the hand with the money, while the table of people are watching in horror - seriously, horror - as more chunks are flying. thankfully, someone finally reacted and handed us some napkins. while aaron is wiping us down and Gary is getting more napkins, reagan proceeds to spew what's left in her stomach a third, Fourth and fifth time. one of those times landed on the back of a ladies North Face jacket, who promptly covered her mouth as she frantically swallowed back the bile that was threatening to come out.
for those of you wondering why i was just standing there while reagan is destroying the floor and what is left of anyones appetite: 1. i was trying to contain the damage to one area of the restaurant. 2. this all happened in about 20 seconds - not a lot of time to run... although i did briefly considering running to the salsa bar. 3. i figured it was a good experience for all those young couples even thinking about having children.
by now reagan seems to have stopped, so we take our leave and head home. i'm covered in throw-up, reagan's covered in throw-up and we're all trying to keep our dinner down as we try not breathing threw our noses. once home, aaron starts a bath and i'm literally rinsing off the babysitters money. she watches me flick some rice of the bills as i'm rinsing them, and offers to not be paid at all. i assure her the money will dry and will be just fine. aaron takes her home and i strip reagan down for her bath. when aaron gets back, i go to get pj's while he plays her songs on his guitar. (she loves splashing in the water while aaron plays for her). it's not long before I hear aaron yelling for me. i come out in the hallway to see aaron holding a naked crying girl - apparently, now that her stomach is empty all that's left is diarrhea. yup, the bath is now full of poop. seriously, how many smelly, disgusting things can come out of one adorable little girl?
needless to say, after a quick shower, two more runny diapers and lots of cuddling and rocking she seems to be over the worse of it. i'm not sure i can say the same for the sitter or the people at the restaurant. as for me... i'm going to go finish cloroxing the tub and disinfecting every toy in the house.
ahhh, the joys of parenthood.
ok... i just had to write about this because it was so disgusting and then kept getting worse. like a really bad movie. (**cough** twilight **cough**)
anyway - we're out to dinner with some friends and the sitter calls to tell me Reagan has thrown up. she seemed pretty upset about it (the sitter) so i told her i'd come home. i left everyone at the restaurant to finish their meal and i ran home to clean up the mess. Once home - Reagan seemed fine. happy, walking around - a little smelly from the throw-up - but overall not really bothered. i figured she must have eaten something that upset her... who knows. once i clean her up i ask the sitter to hang with noah while i run back to the restaurant to pick up aaron and our friends.
Once there, Reagan and I head inside. first, i stop at the register to get cash so i can pay the sitter. with cash in one hand, reagan in the other, i make my way through the restaurant. i'm passing a table of about 10 people when i hear the gurgling and look to see reagan beginning her first projectile... let me repeat, PROJECTILE, vomit. we're talking chunks of rice, chicken, beans and a whole slice of an orange, flying out of her mouth. time seemed to stand still as i see the splatter of throw-up, the shocked faces of the 10 kids (early 20's) who obviously have no children of their own, and back to reagan who has now begun her 2nd projectile vomit. this time Aaron and Gary have heard/seen the mess and are racing over to me, i'm still trying to catch what vomit i can in the hand with the money, while the table of people are watching in horror - seriously, horror - as more chunks are flying. thankfully, someone finally reacted and handed us some napkins. while aaron is wiping us down and Gary is getting more napkins, reagan proceeds to spew what's left in her stomach a third, Fourth and fifth time. one of those times landed on the back of a ladies North Face jacket, who promptly covered her mouth as she frantically swallowed back the bile that was threatening to come out.
for those of you wondering why i was just standing there while reagan is destroying the floor and what is left of anyones appetite: 1. i was trying to contain the damage to one area of the restaurant. 2. this all happened in about 20 seconds - not a lot of time to run... although i did briefly considering running to the salsa bar. 3. i figured it was a good experience for all those young couples even thinking about having children.
by now reagan seems to have stopped, so we take our leave and head home. i'm covered in throw-up, reagan's covered in throw-up and we're all trying to keep our dinner down as we try not breathing threw our noses. once home, aaron starts a bath and i'm literally rinsing off the babysitters money. she watches me flick some rice of the bills as i'm rinsing them, and offers to not be paid at all. i assure her the money will dry and will be just fine. aaron takes her home and i strip reagan down for her bath. when aaron gets back, i go to get pj's while he plays her songs on his guitar. (she loves splashing in the water while aaron plays for her). it's not long before I hear aaron yelling for me. i come out in the hallway to see aaron holding a naked crying girl - apparently, now that her stomach is empty all that's left is diarrhea. yup, the bath is now full of poop. seriously, how many smelly, disgusting things can come out of one adorable little girl?
needless to say, after a quick shower, two more runny diapers and lots of cuddling and rocking she seems to be over the worse of it. i'm not sure i can say the same for the sitter or the people at the restaurant. as for me... i'm going to go finish cloroxing the tub and disinfecting every toy in the house.
ahhh, the joys of parenthood.
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