all in a word

As Aaron was out of town on business my friend Carrie and her three kids came and spent the night and hung out the following day. by the end of the day, we were both pretty drained from having these five kids in the same house for so long. really, it's not so much the five kids as it is Noah and Jane. For some reason they're like oil and vinegar. it is literally impossible for them to get along for any length of time. separate - they're both great kids. together - it's a constant battle. Anyway, as they're getting ready to leave, Luke and Reagan are walking around being loud like only little children can, Noah has upset Jane to the point of tears and the boys are being loud as they say goodbye. meanwhile, Carrie is trying to get them out to the car, i'm trying to keep reagan in the house and find out what Noah did to Jane and frankly, it was all a bit chaotic. We finally get them all moving towards the door when Noah yells out, "Hey mitch! See ya later dick head".

it was as if for a brief moment in time everything slowed down as i looked at noah with total disbelief that came out of his mouth and Carrie's looking at me and then at noah and i'm trying to figure out if i should throw him in his room or pour a bottle of Tabasco sauce in his mouth. i go for the former.

me: NOAH! on your bed right now!!!!

noah: what? why? what did i do?

me: (octave higher then usual) what did you do? (voice back to normal, but still quite angry) you know we don't talk like that! i can't believe that came out of your mouth and directed at a friend! get in your room while i say goodbye and i'll be in to deal with you in a minute.

noah: (starting to cry) but, mom, it was an accident. i didn't mean to.

me: i don't want to hear it. room. now!

noah stomps off to his room while i say goodbye and help carrie get everyone outside. afterwards, i let noah sit on his bed for 20 minutes before going in. Once i'm in there it's a long talk about how the word he used was not appropriate and we should never call people that. i told him if i ever heard him talk like that again, there would be severe consequences and that we'd talk about it with his father when he gets home the next day.

so, me, being very proud that i didn't have to resort to the hot sauce and that i was able to be calm but firm (in the end at least), i didn't bring it up again until the next day. When i told Aaron, he was pretty mad. (ok, really, he was trying not to laugh, but thankfully he looked appropriately disapproving when we sat down with noah.)

me: naoh, i want you to tell your dad why you got in trouble yesterday.

noah: (looking very worried) no, you tell him. i don't want to.

me: no, you need to tell him.

noah: fine. *sniff* dad, when Mitchell was leaving yesterday I called him *sniff* a duck head.


total silence as it slowly sinks in that i had punished Noah for calling his friend duck head. not dick head. to my credit, it was very loud and he was talking really fast.

at this point, aaron starts laughing and just walks away. i look at a very confused noah and tell him that i'm glad he's learned his lesson and i'm glad it won't happen again.

poor noah.