Poison control, how may I help you?

it's that eerie, subtle silence. You know, the kind that sort of creeps through the house and you don't really even hear it till it's right upon you and then it's a sort of deafening silence. The kind where you only find trouble and mischief. This silence came to my house today.

I was at the computer working on moving details when i realized the house was quiet. way too quiet. i slowly made my way down the hallway hoping to find my sweet, sweet two-year old playing quietly with dolls, maybe even looking at her books, or maybe she had crawled into her bed and decided to put herself down for a nap. what?? it could happen! it's possible. ok, maybe it's only possible for some other two-year old out there, but still - it's not beyond the realm. ok, it's totally beyond the realm for my children, but you can't blame a girl for hoping.

so, i make it to Reagan's room not to find her doing something adorable. oh no, instead, i found her brushing her teeth. What was she brushing her teeth with, you ask?

Butt Paste.




Oh yes, Boudreaux's Butt Paste all over her. on her hands, all over the tube and all over the tooth brush. Well, all over the tooth brush except the head -that was suspiciously clean. So i looked in her mouth, smelled her breath - which wreaked of the stuff and went to get the phone.

ring, ring...

operator: Poison control, how may I help you?

me: yes, i just found my two-year old daughter... she's been brushing her with Butt Paste (before I can explain to her what Butt Paste was, she interrupts me)

operator: Is it the Boudreaux brand?

me: actually, yes, it is.

operator: she'll be fine.

me: but i have no idea how much she's ingested.

operator: that's ok. if she's ingested too much, she'll just throw it up.

me: (slight pause) um, ok.

operator: is there anything else i can help you with?

me: uh, nope. i guess that's it.

so - for all you parents, like me, who hear that eerie silence. if it ends up having anything to do with a tube of Butt Paste... no worries. if they've ingested too much - they'll just throw it up.