what are girls made of?

whoever wrote the poem "Sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of" did not know my daughter.

It's hard to say I've hit the "terrible" two's with Reagan when i spend half my time not letting her see me laughing at what she does. she is by far my more defiant child. Noah will try to discuss, manipulate, plead, or spiritualize his way in getting what he wants. he'll often use phrases like, "mom, how would you feel if...." or "mom, you can do that, so why can't i?" or the most recent "mom, i just said a prayer and Heavenly Father told me that even though you're upset, you could still handle things more patiently."

reagan, on the other hand, gets straight to the point. for example, when i catch her trying to play with scissors. I'll take them from her, put them back in the drawer and tell her no. she'll then yell "I WANT THE SCISSORS!!!!" when that doesn't work she'll get these sad little eyes and the poutiest mouth and in a choked cry "i want the scissors". When i try to console her and sweetly explain and reason with her how dangerous scissors are, she'll lower her chin and in satan's own voice say "i want the scissors!" the best is if i've caught her doing something she shouldn't. the other night i came downstairs to find her jumping on the bed and in my big, mean, momma voice i told her she was NOT allowed to jump on the bed. she looked at me for a minute and says, "mom - you go upstairs. ok? you go upstairs." i love that she reasons if i won't let her do what she wants, then she'll just get me out of the room and do it anyway. i'm in serious trouble with this one. no moral compass at all.

as frustrating as her defiance can be at times, it's hard to not just adore her personality. she'll do things that just crack me up. a few days ago she was walking past a mirror and stopped to check herself out. i watched as she got closer to the mirror - tilted her head and looked up her nose. she then proceeded to pick her nose and a few seconds later yelled, "mom! i had a burger and i got it out!" it's the little accomplishments in life that make her so happy.

my favorite story of the week is from a few days ago. it was so sunny and beautiful and the first time she wore shorts this year. she was running around outside and took this huge fall on the grass. hard enough that it actually left a grass stain on her knee, but she just jumped up and kept running - no tears. then she completely biffs it on the sidewalk. huge scrape up her shin and a bloody raspberry on her knee. this time she sits up and looks down at her knee. i'm waiting for the tears, but instead she said, "hey, mom! look! i have colors! red and green."

 

she must be too young to realize you can cry when you see blood. instead, it's all about the pretty colors.

last, but not least, is her singing. she loves to sing. as we've been playing a lot of primary songs in the car these last few months, she's learned a few by heart. she decided to sing them the other night in the bath tub. i caught 'I love to see the temple' and 'I am a child of God'.






as crazy and upside down my world has been these last eight months - my children have always been able to make me laugh. i'm a pretty lucky girl to have them.

push-ups

do you remember the first time you ever watched your child try to do a push-up? it's mostly some butt wiggling, maybe a few head nods and some grunting. it's my favorite thing to watch. Noah had perfected the butt wiggling and head nodding until we were at my brother's house and he watched his cousin (same age) throw down 15 regular push-ups and 15 one-handed push-ups in perfect form. that kid's upper body strength is ridiculous. After watching him, i figured a decent parent would help their child figure out a real push-up. Thankfully, my brother got home to help. there's something about having a guy teach you the mechanics of a "real" push-up then having your mom show you. (not a pretty sight)

after a week of practicing, Noah has finally gotten it down. he may only be able to do 3 or 4, but they're vastly improved from where he started. here's the video he made to show his Uncle Hiatt...



when we finished the video, i looked over and reagan is trying to do one...



these kids crack me up.

sandwiches??? for dinner????

have you ever had a day turn into weeks without even realizing it? I meant to keep this updated while we've been moving... but that was totally unrealistic. i can't keep this updated when my life is "normal", how i thought i could do it when it was upside down is beyond me. but, alas, here i am - updating the best i can.

readers digest version: aaron got a job in D.C., he left almost 3 months ago, we've rented out our house because we can't sell it in this market (!@*!&) and I've moved into my in-law's basement till noah finished school.

We thought it would take a while to rent out the house, so we listed it almost two months before me and the kids were moving - within 20 minutes of listing it on KSL we received a call from a couple who wanted to move in two weeks later. Thankfully the in-laws were willing to put up with us for the last 5 weeks of Noah's school and we were able to move into their basement. those two weeks before the renters arrived went by unbelievable fast. I packed up the house and got it ready to be moved. we had the trailer dropped off on a Wednesday, the movers came Thursday and loaded it and then Friday it was picked up and headed for VA. The rest of Friday was spent cleaning like a mad woman in hopes that I wouldn't spend too much time cleaning on my birthday.

After eight hours of cleaning, I finished by 5:00, and picked up the kids and came "home". i was so tired. to be honest, i'm not sure if i was more emotionally tired than physically tired. it's been hard having aaron gone and finding renters and packing the house and moving us to the in-laws and trying to put on a happy face for the kids. At this point I just wanted to crawl into bed and close my eyes for a good 24 - 36 hours. but before i could do that, i needed to feed the kids and get them to bed. my amazing neighbor had dropped off some sandwiches and fresh strawberries while i was cleaning, so i pulled those out for dinner.

Noah was not happy.

noah: sandwiches?? for dinner??

me: yes.

noah: oh, come on - you have got to be kidding me! sandwiches are for lunch, not dinner, mom. dinner is something that you have to cook and make all nice. you can't feed us sandwiches for dinner.

me: (i walk over and gently, yes - gently, put my hands on noah's shoulders and looked him in the eyes) noah, i need you to love me. (pause) i NEED you to love me enough to eat sandwiches for dinner.

noah: (pause) fine. i'll eat sandwiches. but i'm not happy about it.

so, we eat the sandwiches and i get the kids ready for bed. i debated on sharing the next conversation, but it was so hysterical to me, i decided to post it. it probably won't make sense to most of you, but those who know i've been having some... er... problems with my brother, will understand.

noah: (heading downstairs for bed) mom, you know i love you.

me: i know. i love you too.

noah: i mean lots of people love you. i love you and my cousins love you and grandma and grandpa love you and my aunt's and uncles love you... well, maybe uncle ----- doesn't love you, but Heavenly Father loves you.

me: (I wasn't sure whether to laugh out loud or to be sad at how he's picked up on the tension between my brother and me, but I don't want to delve into it this late at night, so I focus on his last comment) How do you know Heavenly Father loves me?

noah: i just do, mom.  You have to have faith.  That's all.  You just have to have faith.

that kid. what would i do without him? anyway, i get them to bed and then i crawl onto my bed and lay there thinking about the last few months and the months to come. As i'm thinking, i look over at the clock and realize that in just 2 hours i will be 35 years old. 35 years old, laying on a twin mattress, on the floor of my in-laws basement. there's nothing like going backwards in life. seriously - where's the fun in always progressing? that can only bring good things - and who wants that? it's like driving I-15 through Nebraska over and over - no ups and downs, just straight roads. wouldn't you rather drive through the rockies... up and down with all kinds of scenery? It may be a little harder on the engine and create wear and tear on the brakes, but with a drink in one hand and happy pills in the other... bring it on.

eventually i fell asleep and woke up to hear noah and reagan coming down the stairs. they had made me breakfast in bed. A perfectly prepared peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast, with orange juice in a sippie cup, a bag of chocolates, a package of cleaning rags and a birthday letter.  Nothing says "Happy 35 Birthday!!" like a package of cleaning rags.

 

here's his letter...

 

I may be living in my in-laws basement, with a house payment in Utah, a rental payment in VA and a husband across the country - but I have the two greatest kids who can make me smile when nothing else can. (unless I'm ready to duct tape them to their beds)